A TIME FOR THANKSGIVING AND REMEMBERING OTHERS - CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS

Because of the holiday I am taking a few days off from blogging to spend time with my daughter who just arrived this afternoon from New York.  She lives in Manhattan, and I live in California so it is always a wonderful blessing to have her visit.

I have so much for which to be thankful, and I hope you also do.  Let us also remember those who are less fortunate as we start off this wonderful holiday season.  Each of us can do something even if we cannot do everything.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOUR AND YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

ARE YOU A COPYCAT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 181

As children we often try to emulate our parents, teachers, friends, siblings, athletes or stars.  That is a natural part of growing up, and it is how we experiment to learn who we truly are so that as we grow older we will become our own persons.  As adults some of us become leaders and some become followers.  Are you copying a celebrity's style, a star's choice of clothing, some one's choice of automobile, a colleague's choice of a good neighborhood, a friend's decorating style, or the lifestyle of your parents? Be aware of how much you may be copying the choices of others, and ask yourself if you are doing it because you truly like the choices or if it is just easier to be a copycat.

It is okay to copy some things in life, but I encourage you to try very hard to march to your own music and to make your own choices.  In other words,

BE ORIGINAL!

DO YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK FREELY? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 180

As children we allowed our minds to be free from restrictions.  We used our imaginations, and our thoughts ranged from the ridiculous to the sublime.  As we grew up some of us were able to retain that flexibility to permit our thoughts to take us at certain times from the wild and free thoughts to the conservative, practical and pragmatic thoughts encouraged by parents and teachers.  For adults who continued to be creative thinkers society labeled them "free spirits" meaning that they were not confined by customs, mores or other people who had authority over them.

While we all have to grow up eventually, we should still take time to allow our thoughts to wander.  Who knows what great ideas, marvelous inventions, or works of art have been created because of free thinking? You might be the next great scientist, painter, doctor, philosopher, or anything else if you sometimes allow yourself to still

HAVE CRAZY THOUGHTS!

ARE YOU A GOOD NEGOTIATOR? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 179

Chaos enters all of our lives, some more frequently than others.  What do you do when you find you are in the midst of chaos?  It can be personal, professional, or general chaos, and it can be miserable and stress producing.

Rather than succumbing to the chaos, you can take action to escape from it and not just by leaving the place where it is currently reigning.  If your home life is chaotic do you truly know what is causing it?  Do you feel it is the fault of another person living in the home, or is it caused by something as simple as lack of planning or oversleeping?  In your business life do you feel the chaos is caused by a superior or by subordinates?  Trying to end chaos caused by a superior is not as easy as ending chaos caused by subordinates for obvious reasons.

If you hate chaos and prefer peace and tranquility then you must take it upon yourself to learn to find the source and find the solution. Either learn how to do it yourself or avail yourself of one of the many resources of professional help available to us today.  Whether on line, in a book, on TV, or in person there are people who have mastered this and you can learn to do it. You can and will be able to do that if you learn to

NEGOTIATE CHAOS!

HOW HIGH ARE YOUR WALLS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 178

There are walls in and around homes, apartment buildings, businesses parks.  Those walls do not present many problems.  However, the walls we build around ourselves can be very daunting.  Almost everyone at sometime in life puts up walls to protect themselves mentally, emotionally, or even physically. The walls that we build do not shut others out but rather they shut us in which is really not very smart.

If you have internal walls to prevent you from being hurt (possibly again) or from allowing people to really get close to you and to know you, then ask yourself if you are truly benefiting from them?  I know someone who has managed to build strong and big walls to protect her emotionally and mentally from anyone coming into her life.  On the surface she is charming, attractive, very smart and vivacious and fun.  That is the side she presents to the world.  She gets along well with her business colleagues and others, but she is now 50 years old and totally alone.  She has kept everyone at arms' length for so many years that she has only a couple of friends from earlier years who live in other states so she may or may not have a telephone conversation with them a couple of times a year.  She has avoided personal relationships because of the damage done to her by two relationships when she was young and had her heart broken.

As we get older we rely more and more on our friends and family.  When our parents are gone, and if we are not close to siblings or have none, we are going to need our spouses, significant others, and friends.

Have you done anything to wall yourself off from others?  If so, think carefully about it and realize that before it is too late it is time to tell yourself daily to

SCALE MY WALLS!

HOW FAST DOES ONE HAVE TO GO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 177

Does it seem like everything is moving too fast?  Do you feel as if your life is spinning out of control at times? Do you have difficulty keeping up with everything?  The truth of the matter is that as a society we have allowed things to get out of control.  Some things happen too quickly, some things happen too slowly, and you can feel as if you are victimized by the timetables and schedules of others.  When that happens try to take a step back and really look at yourself.

There are things you have to do, things you should do, and things you want to do.  For the things you have to do (things required by law, employers, health) you most likely will have to accept the timetables of others. However, for the things you should do or want to do you can set your own schedule and time frame for accomplishing them.  That can make you feel less stress, can make you enjoy the processes followed to accomplish these things, and most likely improve your rate of completion.

Each week look at your calendar, schedule, to-do list or whatever method you use to manage your time, and say to yourself, "I can

SET MY OWN PACE."

WHEN WILL YOUR DREAM COME TRUE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 176

2013 will come to an end in a little over 5 weeks from now.  Your  to-do list is probably very long as you prepare for any  or all of the upcoming holidays.  When you reflect on 2013 do you think you were successful in achieving your goals?  Did you even set goals for 2013?  Did you make any of your dreams come true? 

2014 is like a brand new slate on which you can write your hopes, your plans, your dreams, your goals, and most important the steps you must take to accomplish those things.  Make a vow to yourself. Repeat it each day by saying, "In 2014 I will

ATTAIN MY DREAMS."

HAVE YOU LOST TRACK OF YOUR DREAMS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 175

Growing up means leaving childhood behind, but it does not mean giving up on childhood dreams.  We carry our dreams forward even if we don't find a way to pursue them.  The busy lives we lead, the problems we face, the work we do, the children and grandchildren we raise all can combine to cause us to lose track of our dreams.  If that has happened to you think back to when the dream first entered your consciousness. Think of why the dream was important to you, why you thought you could pursue it. and why you believed you would make it come true.  Reclaim your dreams.

REMEMBER WHY!

IS YOUR HEART COLD? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 174

The world has changed.  The United States of America has changed.  The people of our cities and towns have changed.  More and more I notice that good manners are disappearing from the landscape of our neighborhoods.  Now I am aware when I smile and greet a stranger they may not return the smile or the greeting, and their eyes are cold.  The homeless population continues to increase, and for many it is through no fault of their own.

Too many people are unemployed.  Too many people are one paycheck or serious illness away from being out on the streets. There is insufficient help for those who are homeless and especially for the mentally ill. There is more assistance for those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol than for the most vulnerable who have mental and emotional problems.  Even for those who are normal before being forced to live on the streets, the ravages of time and hardship can cause them to become mentally unstable.

We seem to have our priorities backwards.  Athletes, actors, singers, politicians, and CEO's command and receive extraordinary incomes, but our military personnel, policemen, firemen, nurses, teachers and  others who serve us have to make do with so much less.  When was the last time an athlete, actor, singer, CEO or politician saved a life?  Which children other than their own received a good education courtesy of an athlete, actor, singer, politician or CEO?  We willingly give our money to support the athletes, actors, singers, politicians, and companies headed by CEO's...........but what do we do for those who truly serve the more important purposes?  What do we do for those who are the least among us?

Do you know how many homeless people there are in your city, town or community?  Do you know how many homeless children are enrolled in your public schools?  Do you know how many resources or facilities there are in your area for people in need?  If your answer to any of these questions is "no" then make it a point to obtain that information.  If the resources are insufficient what can you and your neighbors do to change that?  The mental hospitals and sanitariums are no more.  For some homeless drugs and alcohol are not addictions but rather self-numbing devices against the pain of having no where to go and no one to help.

If your heart is cold or has grown cold ask God to

IGNITE YOUR HEART!

WHAT IS YOUR PASSION? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 173

Do you know what your passion is?  Do you allow it to come to the surface of your thoughts and plans? Does your current job either incorporate your passion or allow you time to pursue it on your own time? Have you locked yourself into a job, a relationship, or a situation which prevents you from pursuing your passion?  Sometimes we are already locked in before we even recognize our passion, but we should not let that stop us from pursuing it.  Block out time on your calendar even if it is only 30 minutes a day and start nurturing your passion.  Get up earlier, go to bed later, trade childcare with a neighbor or friend, ask your spouse or significant other to trade chores with you so that both of you have time for your personal passions.

Finding your passion in life will illuminate the dark times and make you feel more alive and vibrant than you have ever before felt.  It will be like a fire burning within you and give you more joy than you can imagine. Each morning tell yourself to

KINDLE YOUR FIRE!

DO YOU PROVOKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 172

In today's world most people face difficult situations personally, professionally, financially, mentally or emotionally.  Some face difficulties in all areas, and yet some people seem to remain unscathed by the problems running rampant in our country and the world.  What are you doing about any problems you or your loved ones face?  Are you taking part in your neighborhood or community to deal with problems outside of your own?  Are you doing anything to assist in resolving the grave problems currently plaguing our nation?

Each of us can do something if we decide to do it.  Make the decision to take care of your family and help your neighborhood; attend council meetings in your community to know what is happening and how you can help. On a national level do you write your State representatives in the House and Senate?  Do you vote at every opportunity, and do you take time to actually know for whom and for what you are casting your precious vote?

We all can and should provoke significant change for the betterment of our lives and the lives of others.  It will happen when each person decides to

BE A CATALYST! 

ARE YOU ALWAYS A TEAM PLAYER? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 171

The words "team player" are used a lot.........not only in sports but in business, in volunteer groups, in communities.  Often times I have thought that men would be more apt to be familiar with that term and to actually behave as team players because of growing up playing sports.  When I was growing up other than gym class there were few opportunities for girls to play sports.  Of course, that has all changed and girls are as active in sports as boys.  Hopefully, that will introduce them to being "team players."

In a family, marriage, business, or sports we are better off if we understand how to function as part of a team.  The responsibility for the success of anything is usually distributed among all of the participants.  It may not always be spread equally based on seniority, position held, or ownership but still members do share in the outcomes.

In my career I like to think I was a team player much of the time, but in truth there were times when the risks were great and the ultimate responsibility was mine.  In those instances I obtained feedback from all the various staff members and evaluated it before making a decision.  Sometimes I disagreed with their feedback and explained that it would be my "neck on the line" so while I respected their opinions I had decided to

DO IT MY WAY!

Remember that sometimes you also may need to do that.  It is not typical pulling rank but rather making a decision that if you are going down you are going down under your own decision.

IS YOUR LIFE TOO FRENETIC? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 170

The pace of life today can be overwhelming.  Employers are demanding more from fewer workers.  Children no longer safe to go out and play have play dates.  Children of all ages are in organized activities and sports. School buses are not available in all areas as they used to be.  This means parents are spending lots of time chauffeuring their offspring.  With the divorce rate in America at almost 1 out of two marriages this means there are a lot of single mothers (or single fathers) taking care of everyone and everything.  Some aging grandparents are raising their grandchildren, and some children are caregivers for aging parents. Then throw in housework, yard work, bill paying, grocery shopping, food preparation, religious training, exercising and so many other tasks that one day does not seem to provide enough time to accomplish everything and still get sufficient sleep to prepare to do it all over again the next day.  Our lives are in constant motion except during sleep.

We all need time to decompress and to catch our breaths.  We all need to learn to delegate so that home life becomes a joint effort. Even toddlers can be taught to pick up toys or toss things in the trash.  We also need to decide that children or grandchildren do not need to have play dates, sports, various types of lessons, or any other extra-curricular activity 7 days a week.  Have them choose only one or two activities to participate in during any given time period.

Even if it is only 30 minutes a day we all need to rejuvenate ourselves which we can do if we and all family members

LEARN TO BE STILL!

DO YOU TOO HAVE A PROBLEM? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 169

We are currently living in a society where approximately half of the population is dependent on the other half of the population for financial support.  The government tries to make us think they are supporting these people, but remember the government does not generate money.  They take money from the half of the population who pay taxes,  and they are stealing the future from our children and grandchildren who will inherit the massive debt being incurred.

Make no mistake, I have absolutely no problem helping people who genuinely cannot help themselves.  I grew up in a family, in towns and churches where we always reached out to help anyone who was truly in need.  I still reach out to those who need help and will continue to do so as long as I live.

However, I have a real problem with the fraud and deceit that seem to prevail in all of the government assistance programs.   I have a problem with people who make no effort to help themselves.  I have a problem with people who bring more children into the world in order to increase their welfare income.  I have a problem with any man who fathers a child but does not stay around to help raise the child or provide financial support.  I have a problem with any man who fathers children with multiple women but takes no responsibility for them or for those single mothers.  I have a problem with women who give no thought to how they are going to care for the children they have with these ne'er-do-well men.

I have a problem with a one-term politician who disgraces the office but can collect his pension for the rest of his life.  I have a problem when men and women who put their lives on the line in military service get treated less well than the do-nothing politicians. They are not paid enough for their service, and if maimed, injured or killed they certainly are not fairly compensated.

I have a problem with litigious people who take no responsibility for their own actions or behavior but feel they are entitled to compensation when they do something stupid.  I have a problem with jurors who award obscene amounts of money to people because they too have the entitlement mentality and think businesses have deep pockets which they are so willing to pick.  Comparing these people to the military men and women who genuinely take responsibility is enough to make my head explode.

I have a problem with elected officials being able to decide to give themselves a raise with our tax dollars especially when they resolve no problems, lie to us continually, and care more about their personal agendas than the will of the people.  I have a problem with career politicians.  They become complacent and care more about being re-elected than about really serving their constituents.

Except for the truly disabled, the very elderly, or the very young everyone else needs to get a grip, grow up, and

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

WHAT IS YOUR MOST RECENT NEW IDEA? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 168

Although I cannot recall the exact statistics, I do recall reading on a number of occasions that we humans use only a small percentage of our brain power.  That being said just think of the opportunities that we all have to think, create, build, resolve, and plan.  Sometimes we get so bogged down in the routines of everyday living that we no longer take quiet time to reflect, think and allow ideas to bubble up to the surface of our minds.

What would happen if everyone scheduled one hour per week on the calendar to do nothing except sit in quiet contemplation?  Who knows what great ideas would be generated?  A cure for an illness?  A new energy source to reduce our dependence on oil?  A way to provide clean water for all the third world countries?  A solution to build a new medical device to save lives? A way to end poverty and hunger?  You may have an idea that can change the world so take time to

BIRTH NEW IDEAS!

DO YOU NURTURE IT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 167

All of us have a spark in us that can ignite into a great passion to fulfill our goals and dreams.  Sometimes it is a tiny spark, and sometimes that spark seems to have died if childhood has been rough, if adulthood has not been easy, or if you have ignored it for too long.

What do you do to keep your spark alive and growing?  Are you even aware that you have a spark?  Even if it is tiny or has become weak over time, be still and let it make itself known to you.  If you already are aware of it, then make sure to help it grow.

Each day regardless of what is happening in your life, tell yourself to pay attention and

NURTURE YOUR SPARK!

TODAY IS VETERANS' DAY - CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 166

In the USA November 11 used to be called Armistice Day and then was changed years later to Veterans' Day.  It is a time to pause, reflect, and be thankful for all of the men and women who have sacrificed so much up to and including their lives so that we have been able to live free for over 200 years.  We should also be thankful for the spouses, parents and children of the people who have served or are serving in our military forces.  They give up so much when a spouse or parent is away while children are growing up. When a life is lost they all grieve and must carry on.  We need to remember that.

When I see in the news that too many young boys are attacking people for no reason, playing a game called Knock Out; it makes me ill.  They think they are being macho, but if they want to find out what macho really is then they should enlist in the Army, Navy, Marines or Air Force.  They would quickly find out that they really are just punk hoodlums and not tough guys.  They need to get a grip, get a goal, and grow up to take their rightful place in society.  No matter age, education, health, or wealth, all of us can do something to make our country a better place.

On this day I encourage everyone to be thankful and to think of ways to

BE PRODUCTIVE!

HOW DO YOU GET FROM HERE TO THERE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 165

Are you paying attention to the political circus going on in Washington?  Sometimes I swear that our elected officials behave in ways that I would never have allowed my children to.  Name calling, interrupting, talking over each other, bickering instead of problem solving, divisive rhetoric, lying, cheating, and inappropriate behavior are just some of the ugly things they are doing.

It seems they have never learned (or are too committed to their personal agendas) one of the basic steps to take in any business or profession.  When you are trying to accomplish anything and especially something which you are unable to do alone, then instead of fighting for months and accomplishing nothing, think about building bridges.

When people sincerely want to work together to achieve a goal or find a solution they have to connect with others.  What are you doing in your life that requires assistance from others?  How are you going about asking for and getting the help you need?  Are you angry and frustrated because you are getting no cooperation?  If so, then take a hard look at yourself and how you are approaching the situation.  Believe me, you will get further faster if you

BUILD BRIDGES!

WHAT IS YOUR M. O.? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 164

What is your method of operation?  Are you a person who anticipates and prepares for things ?  Are you a person who waits for things to happen, then does what has to be done and hopes for the best?  The way to avoid stress and almost always guarantee success is to

ACT - DON'T REACT!

HOW DO YOUR THOUGHTS MANIFEST THEMSELVES? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 163

Despite the hectic pace of life these days, I hope each of you will take time to sit quietly, think and daydream.  Not only does this quietude keep you calm when life's problems may be swirling around in your brain, but it also will give you ideas about what you want to do, how to do better what you already do, how to resolve problems, and ultimately produce your most creative thinking.

How do your thoughts manifest themselves?  I encourage you to allow your creative ideas to manifest dreams.  Dreams are the things that change the world for the better, make people more successful, and provide hope for the future.

MANIFEST DREAMS