ARE YOU A CONTROLLING PERSON? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 43

A number of years ago I had to face the facts that not only was I a co-dependent person but also turning into a control freak.  I read somewhere that the more out of control our lives become the more we try to control everyone and everything around us.  Over time I learned that the only person you can change is yourself and that, in truth, there is very little one can control in life.  Life is going to happen to us and the people we love no matter what.

I have had a wonderful friend for 52+ years who has now been sober 28 years.  He finally had to decide to change himself for himself and not for anyone else, and he was very successful after a few false starts.  He taught me this prayer which they say in all meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Even if you are not a believer , this is great advice filled with words to live by.  Thinking this way has helped me to go through many, many things and relieved me of so much stress and anxiety.  

So if there are things or relationships in your life that you want to change and you can, then go for it.  However, if there are things or relationships you cannot change then follow today's message which is:

LET IT BE!

CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 7

Being a control freak most of my life, one of the most difficult things for me to accept was that in reality there is not much I can control other than my attitude.  My dear mother was the consummate worrier, and at times she would actually make herself physically ill from worry.  She always expected the worst in every situation.  My dad was not a worrier but rather a "doer."  At the end of the day, I am much more like him than my mom.

When my children were young I divorced my husband.  Although I knew it was the right decision,  I soon  was scaring myself to death thinking about things that might happen to the children in the future if I could not juggle home, work, finances, and all the responsibilities of parenting.  I had to talk to myself saying that if I did not stop worrying I would end up like my mother making myself physically ill.  That would not be good for the children or me.

Some time later I read a Scripture verse (Matthew 6:34) which says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  That verse resonated with me, and I realized I was worrying about things that might never happen (and they never did).

In the past several years my family and I have experienced some challenges:

•   Three years of unemployment for one member, 
•   A collapsed lung for another,
•   A pulmonary embolism and lung cancer for me.

On days when I would slip back into my old ways of trying to figure out how I was going to fix everything, a dear friend reminded me of The Serenity Prayer.  As a recovering alcoholic with 28 years of sobriety, he credits this prayer with helping him to turn his life around so many years ago.  He still prays it daily.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Even if you are not a religious person or you do not believe in prayer, I think the common sense of that prayer is the solution to relieving much stress.  We all have to accept things we cannot change, and yet we must be strong enough to change the things we can.  The common sense part is being wise enough to know the difference.

Today's message is:

Don't Worry!