Saturday, June 9, 2012

If I Were A Little Kid, Would I Cry?

Most of the time I am a very strong, positive person with so much optimism that my daughter has always referred to me as Polly (Pollyanna).  Recently I was diagnosed with lung cancer, and it is not easy to wrap one's brain around that kind of news especially when one does not look or feel sick.  For the past two weeks all I have done is be examined, scanned, biopsied, pinched, patted and poked, and have three days at the beginning of next week with more of the same.  I have been trying to be very upbeat and not write the ending until I know the middle.  So if I can deal with something significant like lung cancer, why am I on the verge of tears because the circuitry board in my central air conditioner burned up a couple of hours ago.  I got my reliable repairman to come out even though it is Saturday, but he cannot order the part until Monday and has no idea how long it will take to get the new board.  You may recall that I live in the desert so the temperature is already well into the 100's and rising.  Trying to juggle all the appointments, prepare for the surgery which has been scheduled, organize things so as not to burden my children with too many details to handle.............all of that I have been doing and can do...............but the darn air conditioner breaking was not in my plans or on my calendar.  Now I must either impose on a neighbor or friend to use their guest room or go to a nearby hotel..............forgive me for whining as I know there are people with so many more problems and worse ones than I have...........but today at this moment I have just reached my coping limit.............tomorrow is another day, and I will do better.

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