Wednesday, November 27, 2013

A TIME FOR THANKSGIVING AND REMEMBERING OTHERS - CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS

Because of the holiday I am taking a few days off from blogging to spend time with my daughter who just arrived this afternoon from New York.  She lives in Manhattan, and I live in California so it is always a wonderful blessing to have her visit.

I have so much for which to be thankful, and I hope you also do.  Let us also remember those who are less fortunate as we start off this wonderful holiday season.  Each of us can do something even if we cannot do everything.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOUR AND YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

ARE YOU A COPYCAT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 181

As children we often try to emulate our parents, teachers, friends, siblings, athletes or stars.  That is a natural part of growing up, and it is how we experiment to learn who we truly are so that as we grow older we will become our own persons.  As adults some of us become leaders and some become followers.  Are you copying a celebrity's style, a star's choice of clothing, some one's choice of automobile, a colleague's choice of a good neighborhood, a friend's decorating style, or the lifestyle of your parents? Be aware of how much you may be copying the choices of others, and ask yourself if you are doing it because you truly like the choices or if it is just easier to be a copycat.

It is okay to copy some things in life, but I encourage you to try very hard to march to your own music and to make your own choices.  In other words,

BE ORIGINAL!

Monday, November 25, 2013

DO YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO THINK FREELY? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 180

As children we allowed our minds to be free from restrictions.  We used our imaginations, and our thoughts ranged from the ridiculous to the sublime.  As we grew up some of us were able to retain that flexibility to permit our thoughts to take us at certain times from the wild and free thoughts to the conservative, practical and pragmatic thoughts encouraged by parents and teachers.  For adults who continued to be creative thinkers society labeled them "free spirits" meaning that they were not confined by customs, mores or other people who had authority over them.

While we all have to grow up eventually, we should still take time to allow our thoughts to wander.  Who knows what great ideas, marvelous inventions, or works of art have been created because of free thinking? You might be the next great scientist, painter, doctor, philosopher, or anything else if you sometimes allow yourself to still

HAVE CRAZY THOUGHTS!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

ARE YOU A GOOD NEGOTIATOR? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 179

Chaos enters all of our lives, some more frequently than others.  What do you do when you find you are in the midst of chaos?  It can be personal, professional, or general chaos, and it can be miserable and stress producing.

Rather than succumbing to the chaos, you can take action to escape from it and not just by leaving the place where it is currently reigning.  If your home life is chaotic do you truly know what is causing it?  Do you feel it is the fault of another person living in the home, or is it caused by something as simple as lack of planning or oversleeping?  In your business life do you feel the chaos is caused by a superior or by subordinates?  Trying to end chaos caused by a superior is not as easy as ending chaos caused by subordinates for obvious reasons.

If you hate chaos and prefer peace and tranquility then you must take it upon yourself to learn to find the source and find the solution. Either learn how to do it yourself or avail yourself of one of the many resources of professional help available to us today.  Whether on line, in a book, on TV, or in person there are people who have mastered this and you can learn to do it. You can and will be able to do that if you learn to

NEGOTIATE CHAOS!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

HOW HIGH ARE YOUR WALLS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 178

There are walls in and around homes, apartment buildings, businesses parks.  Those walls do not present many problems.  However, the walls we build around ourselves can be very daunting.  Almost everyone at sometime in life puts up walls to protect themselves mentally, emotionally, or even physically. The walls that we build do not shut others out but rather they shut us in which is really not very smart.

If you have internal walls to prevent you from being hurt (possibly again) or from allowing people to really get close to you and to know you, then ask yourself if you are truly benefiting from them?  I know someone who has managed to build strong and big walls to protect her emotionally and mentally from anyone coming into her life.  On the surface she is charming, attractive, very smart and vivacious and fun.  That is the side she presents to the world.  She gets along well with her business colleagues and others, but she is now 50 years old and totally alone.  She has kept everyone at arms' length for so many years that she has only a couple of friends from earlier years who live in other states so she may or may not have a telephone conversation with them a couple of times a year.  She has avoided personal relationships because of the damage done to her by two relationships when she was young and had her heart broken.

As we get older we rely more and more on our friends and family.  When our parents are gone, and if we are not close to siblings or have none, we are going to need our spouses, significant others, and friends.

Have you done anything to wall yourself off from others?  If so, think carefully about it and realize that before it is too late it is time to tell yourself daily to

SCALE MY WALLS!

Friday, November 22, 2013

HOW FAST DOES ONE HAVE TO GO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 177

Does it seem like everything is moving too fast?  Do you feel as if your life is spinning out of control at times? Do you have difficulty keeping up with everything?  The truth of the matter is that as a society we have allowed things to get out of control.  Some things happen too quickly, some things happen too slowly, and you can feel as if you are victimized by the timetables and schedules of others.  When that happens try to take a step back and really look at yourself.

There are things you have to do, things you should do, and things you want to do.  For the things you have to do (things required by law, employers, health) you most likely will have to accept the timetables of others. However, for the things you should do or want to do you can set your own schedule and time frame for accomplishing them.  That can make you feel less stress, can make you enjoy the processes followed to accomplish these things, and most likely improve your rate of completion.

Each week look at your calendar, schedule, to-do list or whatever method you use to manage your time, and say to yourself, "I can


SET MY OWN PACE."



Thursday, November 21, 2013

WHEN WILL YOUR DREAM COME TRUE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 176

2013 will come to an end in a little over 5 weeks from now.  Your  to-do list is probably very long as you prepare for any  or all of the upcoming holidays.  When you reflect on 2013 do you think you were successful in achieving your goals?  Did you even set goals for 2013?  Did you make any of your dreams come true? 

2014 is like a brand new slate on which you can write your hopes, your plans, your dreams, your goals, and most important the steps you must take to accomplish those things.  Make a vow to yourself. Repeat it each day by saying, "In 2014 I will

ATTAIN MY DREAMS."

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

HAVE YOU LOST TRACK OF YOUR DREAMS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 175

Growing up means leaving childhood behind, but it does not mean giving up on childhood dreams.  We carry our dreams forward even if we don't find a way to pursue them.  The busy lives we lead, the problems we face, the work we do, the children and grandchildren we raise all can combine to cause us to lose track of our dreams.  If that has happened to you think back to when the dream first entered your consciousness. Think of why the dream was important to you, why you thought you could pursue it. and why you believed you would make it come true.  Reclaim your dreams.

REMEMBER WHY!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

IS YOUR HEART COLD? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 174

The world has changed.  The United States of America has changed.  The people of our cities and towns have changed.  More and more I notice that good manners are disappearing from the landscape of our neighborhoods.  Now I am aware when I smile and greet a stranger they may not return the smile or the greeting, and their eyes are cold.  The homeless population continues to increase, and for many it is through no fault of their own.

Too many people are unemployed.  Too many people are one paycheck or serious illness away from being out on the streets. There is insufficient help for those who are homeless and especially for the mentally ill. There is more assistance for those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol than for the most vulnerable who have mental and emotional problems.  Even for those who are normal before being forced to live on the streets, the ravages of time and hardship can cause them to become mentally unstable.

We seem to have our priorities backwards.  Athletes, actors, singers, politicians, and CEO's command and receive extraordinary incomes, but our military personnel, policemen, firemen, nurses, teachers and  others who serve us have to make do with so much less.  When was the last time an athlete, actor, singer, CEO or politician saved a life?  Which children other than their own received a good education courtesy of an athlete, actor, singer, politician or CEO?  We willingly give our money to support the athletes, actors, singers, politicians, and companies headed by CEO's...........but what do we do for those who truly serve the more important purposes?  What do we do for those who are the least among us?

Do you know how many homeless people there are in your city, town or community?  Do you know how many homeless children are enrolled in your public schools?  Do you know how many resources or facilities there are in your area for people in need?  If your answer to any of these questions is "no" then make it a point to obtain that information.  If the resources are insufficient what can you and your neighbors do to change that?  The mental hospitals and sanitariums are no more.  For some homeless drugs and alcohol are not addictions but rather self-numbing devices against the pain of having no where to go and no one to help.

If your heart is cold or has grown cold ask God to

IGNITE YOUR HEART!

Monday, November 18, 2013

WHAT IS YOUR PASSION? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 173

Do you know what your passion is?  Do you allow it to come to the surface of your thoughts and plans? Does your current job either incorporate your passion or allow you time to pursue it on your own time? Have you locked yourself into a job, a relationship, or a situation which prevents you from pursuing your passion?  Sometimes we are already locked in before we even recognize our passion, but we should not let that stop us from pursuing it.  Block out time on your calendar even if it is only 30 minutes a day and start nurturing your passion.  Get up earlier, go to bed later, trade childcare with a neighbor or friend, ask your spouse or significant other to trade chores with you so that both of you have time for your personal passions.

Finding your passion in life will illuminate the dark times and make you feel more alive and vibrant than you have ever before felt.  It will be like a fire burning within you and give you more joy than you can imagine. Each morning tell yourself to

KINDLE YOUR FIRE!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

DO YOU PROVOKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 172

In today's world most people face difficult situations personally, professionally, financially, mentally or emotionally.  Some face difficulties in all areas, and yet some people seem to remain unscathed by the problems running rampant in our country and the world.  What are you doing about any problems you or your loved ones face?  Are you taking part in your neighborhood or community to deal with problems outside of your own?  Are you doing anything to assist in resolving the grave problems currently plaguing our nation?

Each of us can do something if we decide to do it.  Make the decision to take care of your family and help your neighborhood; attend council meetings in your community to know what is happening and how you can help. On a national level do you write your State representatives in the House and Senate?  Do you vote at every opportunity, and do you take time to actually know for whom and for what you are casting your precious vote?

We all can and should provoke significant change for the betterment of our lives and the lives of others.  It will happen when each person decides to

BE A CATALYST! 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

ARE YOU ALWAYS A TEAM PLAYER? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 171

The words "team player" are used a lot.........not only in sports but in business, in volunteer groups, in communities.  Often times I have thought that men would be more apt to be familiar with that term and to actually behave as team players because of growing up playing sports.  When I was growing up other than gym class there were few opportunities for girls to play sports.  Of course, that has all changed and girls are as active in sports as boys.  Hopefully, that will introduce them to being "team players."

In a family, marriage, business, or sports we are better off if we understand how to function as part of a team.  The responsibility for the success of anything is usually distributed among all of the participants.  It may not always be spread equally based on seniority, position held, or ownership but still members do share in the outcomes.

In my career I like to think I was a team player much of the time, but in truth there were times when the risks were great and the ultimate responsibility was mine.  In those instances I obtained feedback from all the various staff members and evaluated it before making a decision.  Sometimes I disagreed with their feedback and explained that it would be my "neck on the line" so while I respected their opinions I had decided to

DO IT MY WAY!

Remember that sometimes you also may need to do that.  It is not typical pulling rank but rather making a decision that if you are going down you are going down under your own decision.

Friday, November 15, 2013

IS YOUR LIFE TOO FRENETIC? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 170

The pace of life today can be overwhelming.  Employers are demanding more from fewer workers.  Children no longer safe to go out and play have play dates.  Children of all ages are in organized activities and sports. School buses are not available in all areas as they used to be.  This means parents are spending lots of time chauffeuring their offspring.  With the divorce rate in America at almost 1 out of two marriages this means there are a lot of single mothers (or single fathers) taking care of everyone and everything.  Some aging grandparents are raising their grandchildren, and some children are caregivers for aging parents. Then throw in housework, yard work, bill paying, grocery shopping, food preparation, religious training, exercising and so many other tasks that one day does not seem to provide enough time to accomplish everything and still get sufficient sleep to prepare to do it all over again the next day.  Our lives are in constant motion except during sleep.

We all need time to decompress and to catch our breaths.  We all need to learn to delegate so that home life becomes a joint effort. Even toddlers can be taught to pick up toys or toss things in the trash.  We also need to decide that children or grandchildren do not need to have play dates, sports, various types of lessons, or any other extra-curricular activity 7 days a week.  Have them choose only one or two activities to participate in during any given time period.

Even if it is only 30 minutes a day we all need to rejuvenate ourselves which we can do if we and all family members

LEARN TO BE STILL!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

DO YOU TOO HAVE A PROBLEM? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 169

We are currently living in a society where approximately half of the population is dependent on the other half of the population for financial support.  The government tries to make us think they are supporting these people, but remember the government does not generate money.  They take money from the half of the population who pay taxes,  and they are stealing the future from our children and grandchildren who will inherit the massive debt being incurred.

Make no mistake, I have absolutely no problem helping people who genuinely cannot help themselves.  I grew up in a family, in towns and churches where we always reached out to help anyone who was truly in need.  I still reach out to those who need help and will continue to do so as long as I live.

However, I have a real problem with the fraud and deceit that seem to prevail in all of the government assistance programs.   I have a problem with people who make no effort to help themselves.  I have a problem with people who bring more children into the world in order to increase their welfare income.  I have a problem with any man who fathers a child but does not stay around to help raise the child or provide financial support.  I have a problem with any man who fathers children with multiple women but takes no responsibility for them or for those single mothers.  I have a problem with women who give no thought to how they are going to care for the children they have with these ne'er-do-well men.

I have a problem with a one-term politician who disgraces the office but can collect his pension for the rest of his life.  I have a problem when men and women who put their lives on the line in military service get treated less well than the do-nothing politicians. They are not paid enough for their service, and if maimed, injured or killed they certainly are not fairly compensated.

I have a problem with litigious people who take no responsibility for their own actions or behavior but feel they are entitled to compensation when they do something stupid.  I have a problem with jurors who award obscene amounts of money to people because they too have the entitlement mentality and think businesses have deep pockets which they are so willing to pick.  Comparing these people to the military men and women who genuinely take responsibility is enough to make my head explode.

I have a problem with elected officials being able to decide to give themselves a raise with our tax dollars especially when they resolve no problems, lie to us continually, and care more about their personal agendas than the will of the people.  I have a problem with career politicians.  They become complacent and care more about being re-elected than about really serving their constituents.

Except for the truly disabled, the very elderly, or the very young everyone else needs to get a grip, grow up, and

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

WHAT IS YOUR MOST RECENT NEW IDEA? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 168

Although I cannot recall the exact statistics, I do recall reading on a number of occasions that we humans use only a small percentage of our brain power.  That being said just think of the opportunities that we all have to think, create, build, resolve, and plan.  Sometimes we get so bogged down in the routines of everyday living that we no longer take quiet time to reflect, think and allow ideas to bubble up to the surface of our minds.

What would happen if everyone scheduled one hour per week on the calendar to do nothing except sit in quiet contemplation?  Who knows what great ideas would be generated?  A cure for an illness?  A new energy source to reduce our dependence on oil?  A way to provide clean water for all the third world countries?  A solution to build a new medical device to save lives? A way to end poverty and hunger?  You may have an idea that can change the world so take time to

BIRTH NEW IDEAS!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

DO YOU NURTURE IT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 167

All of us have a spark in us that can ignite into a great passion to fulfill our goals and dreams.  Sometimes it is a tiny spark, and sometimes that spark seems to have died if childhood has been rough, if adulthood has not been easy, or if you have ignored it for too long.

What do you do to keep your spark alive and growing?  Are you even aware that you have a spark?  Even if it is tiny or has become weak over time, be still and let it make itself known to you.  If you already are aware of it, then make sure to help it grow.

Each day regardless of what is happening in your life, tell yourself to pay attention and

NURTURE YOUR SPARK!

Monday, November 11, 2013

TODAY IS VETERANS' DAY - CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 166

In the USA November 11 used to be called Armistice Day and then was changed years later to Veterans' Day.  It is a time to pause, reflect, and be thankful for all of the men and women who have sacrificed so much up to and including their lives so that we have been able to live free for over 200 years.  We should also be thankful for the spouses, parents and children of the people who have served or are serving in our military forces.  They give up so much when a spouse or parent is away while children are growing up. When a life is lost they all grieve and must carry on.  We need to remember that.

When I see in the news that too many young boys are attacking people for no reason, playing a game called Knock Out; it makes me ill.  They think they are being macho, but if they want to find out what macho really is then they should enlist in the Army, Navy, Marines or Air Force.  They would quickly find out that they really are just punk hoodlums and not tough guys.  They need to get a grip, get a goal, and grow up to take their rightful place in society.  No matter age, education, health, or wealth, all of us can do something to make our country a better place.

On this day I encourage everyone to be thankful and to think of ways to

BE PRODUCTIVE!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

HOW DO YOU GET FROM HERE TO THERE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 165

Are you paying attention to the political circus going on in Washington?  Sometimes I swear that our elected officials behave in ways that I would never have allowed my children to.  Name calling, interrupting, talking over each other, bickering instead of problem solving, divisive rhetoric, lying, cheating, and inappropriate behavior are just some of the ugly things they are doing.

It seems they have never learned (or are too committed to their personal agendas) one of the basic steps to take in any business or profession.  When you are trying to accomplish anything and especially something which you are unable to do alone, then instead of fighting for months and accomplishing nothing, think about building bridges.

When people sincerely want to work together to achieve a goal or find a solution they have to connect with others.  What are you doing in your life that requires assistance from others?  How are you going about asking for and getting the help you need?  Are you angry and frustrated because you are getting no cooperation?  If so, then take a hard look at yourself and how you are approaching the situation.  Believe me, you will get further faster if you

BUILD BRIDGES!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

WHAT IS YOUR M. O.? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 164

What is your method of operation?  Are you a person who anticipates and prepares for things ?  Are you a person who waits for things to happen, then does what has to be done and hopes for the best?  The way to avoid stress and almost always guarantee success is to

ACT - DON'T REACT!

Friday, November 8, 2013

HOW DO YOUR THOUGHTS MANIFEST THEMSELVES? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 163

Despite the hectic pace of life these days, I hope each of you will take time to sit quietly, think and daydream.  Not only does this quietude keep you calm when life's problems may be swirling around in your brain, but it also will give you ideas about what you want to do, how to do better what you already do, how to resolve problems, and ultimately produce your most creative thinking.

How do your thoughts manifest themselves?  I encourage you to allow your creative ideas to manifest dreams.  Dreams are the things that change the world for the better, make people more successful, and provide hope for the future.

MANIFEST DREAMS

Thursday, November 7, 2013

DO OBSTACLES STOP YOU? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 162

There are all types of obstacles in life.   They can be physical, financial, mental, emotional, or imaginary. What do you do when you encounter obstacles?  Do you develop a strategy to overcome them?  Do you worry or fret over them?  Do you allow them to defeat you?  Do you succumb to them before you have done everything you can do about them?  Our personalities, life experiences, self-confidence, ambition, courage, determination, mental and emotional strength all combine to either help us overcome obstacles, to accept defeat without trying, or to give up somewhere in the middle.

Our character is built in part by how we deal with obstacles.  So many times the obstacles are not as huge as we may perceive them to be, and most often we are actually stronger than the obstacles. Reactions to obstacles can be varied from anger, fear, and depression on the negative side to excitement, strategic planning, seeking advice or assistance, or facing them directly on the positive side.

Do you react negatively or positively?  Do you step up to the plate and do what is necessary and possible to get rid of the obstacles?  I hope your method of operation is to

BREAK BARRIERS!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

HOW MUCH CAN YOU REALLY DO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 161

Are you a good planner?  Are you good at time management?  If you are getting older are you still able to do all that you used to do?  Have you had an illness or injury that prevents you from doing everything you want to do?  Is there something you want to do but for which you do not have the needed skill set?

Planning and time management are not just for the young or those in the work force.  We still need to plan how to use our time and accomplish our tasks and goals.  Now that I am getting older I do not have the physical strength or stamina that I had ten years ago.  Yet I still plan my days as if I can still do everything as quickly as I used to and as if I can still do as many things in a day as I used to do.

Yesterday I read something that made sense.  It said if the same things keep appearing on your to-do list but never getting checked off, then admit you either do not want to do them or are not going to do them and remove them from the list.  That is good advice because when I do not accomplish all the things on my daily lists I become annoyed with myself.  Truth is I now need to pay someone else to do certain things or prevail upon my children to do them for me when they visit.  For example, anything that involves climbing on a ladder is now beyond my stability and coordination.

Think about it.  Is there anything in your life for which you need to tell yourself:

ACCEPT MY LIMITS


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

IS TODAY A TOUGH DAY FOR YOU? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS -DAY 160

Even for someone like me (whom my daughter has called Pollyanna since she was about 16 years old), there are days when I would rather just stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. At times for all of us facing the day is overwhelming because there is nothing we have to do that we really want to do, there are no bright spots on a bleak horizon, or there is great sorrow for a loss or disappointment.  On those days it truly seems as if life is an uphill battle.

While it may be true for today that

IT'S ALL UPHILL

remember what a glorious view and outlook there can be when you reach the top of that hill at the end of the day.  Hang in there.  Tomorrow is another day, and it may be one of our best days ever!




Monday, November 4, 2013

CAN YOU BE TRUSTED? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 159

In the current political mess there appear to be many untruthful people running our country, and they are not limited to one party.  It makes me sick at heart to realize that we the people no longer know whom to trust or whom to follow.  In the celebrity world there is a well-publicized lack of trust and fidelity between couples; and this is too often also true in the lives of non-celebrities.  Men parent children and then feel no obligation to support, love and care for those children.  Women trust men to mean what they say and end up as single parents struggling for years to raise their children.

In business there are lifetime guarantees given for products and services that may not last five years.  Who in their right mind believes there is any longer such a thing as a lifetime guarantee?  Companies start up and go out of business without so much as a word to the customers who trusted them.  Bernie Maidoff was not the only swindler; there are more scam artists, identity thieves and felons than we can count.  Hit and run accidents have reached an all-time high because the people behind the wheels cannot be trusted to do the right thing.  They think nothing of leaving their victims on the streets to die.  People in positions of authority who should be trustworthy molest the most innocent among us.  Lies and money protect parents, priests, pastors, teachers, athletic coaches, scout leaders and other volunteers who work with children.

People make promises and lie when they do not keep them.  Children are taught to lie because if they tell the truth too often they receive such harsh punishment that they are afraid to speak the truth.  Fraud and cheating are rampant in every facet of our lives and at every age.  There are politicians, doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, mayors, city council members, military personnel, ceo's, presidents, managers, supervisors, employees, co-workers, colleagues, school board members, school superintendents, professors, deans, teachers, students, nannies, babysitters, housekeepers, neighbors, and friends who lie.  How did we get to be such a society?  Is it just greed?  Is it not a failure to be held responsible or accountable for our own behavior?

I would be wrong to say there are NO trustworthy people, but when I was growing up the majority of the people were honest, hardworking, and knew if they lied there would be consequences.  Now perhaps the majority are liars, and they experience few if any consequences.

The world would be a better place and life easier to live if all people were truthful.  If people had been created like the storybook character Pinocchio there would be a world full of long noses, and we would be certain of who is lying and who is not.  Integrity is a wonderful trait to have because the truth does not change.  You do not have to worry about remembering because facts don't change.

The solution is an easy one, and it starts when you make the decision for yourself and your children to always

TELL THE TRUTH!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

DO YOU DROP OUT OF THE RACE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 158

We all face challenges in both our personal and professional lives.  How do you respond to challenges?  Do you keep your commitments?  Do you have a positive outlook when it comes to meeting challenges?  Do you have the stamina and courage that it takes to keep on going even when the going gets tough?  If you want to meet the challenges and win the races set before you then you have to be determined and prepared to

GO THE DISTANCE!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD REPUTATION FOR DOING THIS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 157

One of the most appreciated and needed traits in any person is follow through.  It is the ability to connect the dots in any situation and follow through to the best conclusion.  Sadly, it seems to be a very rare commodity in today's workplace, and more's the pity.  Companies are making money in spite of themselves, but they could make even more if their employees would just follow through.

If you are a student, an employee, an employer, a parent, a neighbor, a friend, a spouse or significant other then think about yourself.  Do you follow through?  Do you say you will do something and then not do it? Are you a customer service employee who promises the customer you will take care of their question or complaint but you don't follow through.  It is maddening to have to deal with people who either do not know how to follow through, don't want to make the effort to follow through, or follow through only up to a point but not to the needed conclusion.

Think about the people you interact with........doctors, lawyers, hospitals, pharmacies, construction companies, grocery stores, on-line retailers, department stores, and many more.  Are you satisfied with their ability or that of their employees to follow through, to get back to you when they say they will, or should they improve?

We all need to check ourselves and be sure that both in our personal lives and our working lives that we always

FOLLOW THROUGH!

Friday, November 1, 2013

HOW DO YOUR FEELINGS RUN? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 156

Feelings can be like breathing............sometimes we hold our breath in difficult situations, and sometimes we hold back our feelings to keep them on a superficial level.  That is a learned behavior I think.  Little children are so pure and innocent that they hold nothing back unless they learn to hold back.  They learn to hold back if they are taught to do so.  They also learn to hold back if they are hurt enough times by the people who are supposed to love and care for them.  Many children in the foster care system learn to hold back their feelings to save themselves pain.

Of course, there are those of us who wear our feelings on our sleeves.  We never learned to hold back and so we do not.  This makes us vulnerable, but it also gives us the immeasurable joy of loving people and life. What goes around comes around so if we feel deeper we will feel more, receive more, enjoy more, and have happier lives.  I speak from experience so let yourself open up and

FEEL DEEPER!




Thursday, October 31, 2013

DO YOU SHOW OTHERS WHO YOU ARE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 155

It has become abundantly clear in our society that we humans almost always have dual personalities - the side we show to "company" and the side we reveal to our immediate family and sometimes to our friends.  I have never quite understood why we think what we show to "company" is our best side when we should be revealing our best side to those who love and support us. Is your best side meant to  make others think you are something other than your true self?

I am a firm believer that we should find a way to merge our two personalities into one so that everyone gets to know the real us.  Would that not be a nice twist to always see the real people our political leaders are versus the people they pretend to be when campaigning for office?  Would it not behoove us to show our best side to everyone?  I know it would be a great thing to never disappoint or be disappointed in finding out someone else's true colors?

If your real personality is not something you are proud to show, then you can change it.  Every successful change begins with a decision to make a change.  It can be exhausting to maintain two personas, and it almost always will come back to haunt you when people figure out that what they see is not what they get.

Today, tomorrow and always start each day by telling yourself to

BE THE BEST ME!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

ARE YOU STAYING STRONG? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 154

There are days when I feel as if the world is spinning out of control, and that unless I keep hanging on tightly I will be flung out into space.  This feeling comes because it seems so many things which should be easy to deal with or accomplish have become difficult due to bureaucracy, stupidity, incompetence, unemployment, or technology.

What are you trying to do?  Start a business?  Save a relationship? Be a good parent? Pursue your life's dream? Deal with your own illness or that of a loved one?  Are you discouraged for any reason?  Are you thinking you won't realize your objective or have the opportunity to live your dream?  Are you feeling you will never find a job in your field at the salary level you need?  Are you afraid that the outcome will not be that for which you are hoping?

It is so easy to find so many things wrong in the world today, but I encourage you to focus on the positive rather than the negative.  Talk to yourself, and think positively even when you don't  feel like it.  Hang around with positive people rather than naysayers, and determine what you can do about the issue and do it.  Most important


REFUSE TO GIVE UP!

WHERE DO YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 153

Do you spend most of your time in the here and now, or do you find yourself always worrying about the future?  There is all kinds of advice to live in the present, be in the moment, etc.  However, it is not an easy thing to do when you are always thinking about the future.

My blog post for day 153 was to deliver the message

BE FULLY PRESENT

I did not get to write that post yesterday as planned (sorry), but today I received an email with a video message exactly about this subject, and I cannot do it more justice than Marie Forleo did.  So if you want to really find out how to be fully present in today's busy world check out her website and see the brief video which is worth watching:

www.marieforleo.com

Monday, October 28, 2013

WILL YOU BE THE NEXT VICTIM? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 152

There was a time in this country when a murder was a rarity in most cities and towns, and killing seemed to be confined to wars.  When a murder occurred it was on the front page of every newspaper, and before TV it would also be on the radio news.  Today it is no longer a rarity but rather an epidemic. Gang members are killing other gang members.  Children are being abused, assaulted and killed.  College students are being killed, spouses are being killed by spouses, significant others are killed by significant others, neighbors killing neighbors, and now young children are killing parents, teachers, and students.  This is not about owning guns. This is about parenting, education, mental health, accountability, and responsibility.

We have arrived at a time when too many people no longer respect or value life ..........not their own nor the life of anyone else.  If you are a parent have you taught your children to respect life, to value life, to love life? What about you?  Do you respect and value life?  Are you participating in their education?  Do you give them responsibility and hold them accountable?  Do you hold yourself accountable?  If your answer to any of these questions is negative, then it is time you started to do the right things..  If you have grandchildren are they being taught to appreciate life and to know how fragile it is?  If you do not teach them who will?

I am saddened to say this, but we have become a nation of pigs.  Greed and self-absorption abound at all ages and in all occupations and professions.  Lies have become the coin of the realm.  The anger and rage which are rampant, and the total lack of respect for anyone or anything exhibited by far too many people today will become the downfall of all of us.  Think about our children and grandchildren.  What kind of life can they expect to have?  Between the pigs and the ridiculous politicians we are paying to treat us less well than they treat themselves, I fear their lives will be a living hell.

Only we can change things, and the first thing we must believe and share with others is that

LIFE MATTERS! 

Sunday, October 27, 2013

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU AWAKE EACH DAY? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS -DAY 150

Do you realize how much control you actually have over your daily moods and attitudes?  I used to not believe that especially when I had a deadline looming, or a medical procedure needed for a family member, friend or myself.  I especially had a hard time grasping that concept when I had loved ones suffering from depression, other illness, financial problems, or job lay-offs.

Then somehow I learned that while I could not prevent those things from happening, I could control my attitude about how I deal with them.  I learned to do everything I can to make situations better and to accept those things I myself can not make better.  I also learned to tell myself immediately upon awakening in the morning that no matter what I am going to



HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

DO YOU THINK OF GIVING UP? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 150

Are you having thoughts of giving up whether it be on a relationship, a business idea, a job, or even life?  I know there can be many things which can cause a person to feel great despair, to feel hopeless, and to just run out of the energy to keep trying or keep going.  If you are feeling that way, I first will say I am so sorry that you do.  Then I will say no matter what do not give up.  

Remember that changing your mind is not giving up.  If you decide that someone is really not the person for you, or if you are in an abusive relationship then it is smart to get out of the relationship and distance yourself from that person.  If you have an idea for a business but in doing your research you find that it may not be as profitable as you would need it to be, then deciding not to pursue it is a smart decision.  If you are in a job that makes you miserable each day or has no future growth, then perhaps you do need to keep your ears open to hear about other companies or opportunities.  However, in this economy when so many are out of work it is not smart to just quit your job without another one to go to.  As long as you are employed try to do your best each day, try to be honest and determine if you may be part of the problem and what you can do to make the situation better.  Then keep job searching.  

If you are in a period of grieving for the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship, allow yourself a time to grieve and realize that is part of the process of life.  If you are gay and have not yet come out, or if you have a substance abuse problem, realize what you can do and should do for your own well being.  These are all serious and painful situations, and there are professionals who can help you.  Grief counselors, therapists, rehabs, AA, clergy, parents, grandparents, and friends who can and will help you through these dark times.

One of the things we learn as we grow older is that everything changes if you wait long enough.  Remember that 

IT GETS BETTER!

Friday, October 25, 2013

ARE YOU EXTREMELY HARD ON YOURSELF? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 149

Do you set goals for yourself which are much too aggressive?  Do you challenge yourself harder than anyone else challenges you?  Do you expect too much of yourself?  Or are you too easy on yourself?  Somewhere there is a happy medium so find it for yourself.  Set goals for yourself which are realistic and achievable. Have high standards for yourself,  but don't expect more from yourself than is reasonable?  When you set a challenge for yourself

CHALLENGE EASY.




Thursday, October 24, 2013

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 148

We all have fears, some of us more than others perhaps but we all have fears.  What are you afraid of?  Heights?  Bugs?  Flying?  Commitment?  Failure?  There are so many possible causes of our fears, but there is usually one solution to overcome any fear.  Make up your mind to conquer your fear, and then put yourself in a situation to do the thing you fear most.  Once you do that, you will sometimes regret the time you wasted letting that particular fear interfere with your life in any way.

Although I don't like bugs or critters that creep or crawl, I think fear of failure is the one that caused me to always play my cards very close to the vest and not take chances.    Fear of failure, fear of disappointing anyone, fear of being reprimanded, fear of losing a job, and fear of financial ruin can wreak havoc in a person's life and prevent  him or her from achieving success in school, in relationships, and in business.

Today's message is:

TAKE RISKS!




Wednesday, October 23, 2013

WHEN DO YOU RELAX? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 147

Do you ever get totally wrapped up in family or personal matters, business commitments, volunteer duties, and just life in general so you feel as if you are spinning in circles or even out of control.  I know I can allow myself to  get into that predicament.  Try to reel yourself in and think of all that is right in your life, of all that is important but not critical to that day, of what you actually must do yourself or what can be done by someone else.  When you do that you are able to realize that you are not spinning anymore, and you can take a huge deep breath, relax, and tell yourself

ALL IS WELL!





Tuesday, October 22, 2013

HOW GOOD DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 146

We live in a society that used to be very concerned with looks and appearance.  People used to "dress up" to go to work, school, church, meetings, and events.  Now we seem to have become a nation of slobs which I think has contributed to the demise of so many of the wonderful independent retailers we used to enjoy. Celebrities dress up to walk the red carpet, and people interested in fashion dress for success.  The rest of the people not so much.

It all starts when a person decides to have confidence in his or her looks.  We all look different, but each one of us brings something good to the world even if we do not think so.  It is time to take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  Is your hair combed?  Are your teeth clean?  Is your skin clean and fresh looking? If you wear make up, are you consistent about using it daily?  Do you shave every day?  Do you need a haircut?  Are your clothes clean and pressed?  Do you live in t-shirts, jeans or baggy shorts?  Those items of apparel can have a place in your wardrobe but not for daily use. You don't have to have a huge wardrobe, and you can shop at thrift stores if need be to find appropriate outfits for whatever your activities are.  Once you start paying attention to your appearance you will be amazed at the things that will happen for you.

If you want to make your mark, achieve your dreams, pursue your goals, gain the attention of influential people, be admired, and be an example for others to emulate, then you first must decide that you are who you are, and no matter what happens on each day depending on your gender tell yourself:

I AM BEAUTIFUL!

OR

I AM HANDSOME!

www.malcolmfortots.etsy.com
www.malcolmfortots.goodsmiths.com

Monday, October 21, 2013

DO YOU PAY ATTENTION OR NOT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 145

Are you going through life on auto-pilot?  Are you paying attention to everything around you?  Are you paying attention to all the people who cross your path each day?  Do you really pay attention to your spouse or your children?  Do you know anything that is interesting about your neighborhood, your town or city, your state, your region or your country?  Do you know all of the types of jobs or hobbies that are available to you?

Part of the reason young children and teens get bored and into trouble is because they have no idea what is around them or who is around them.  Marriages fall apart sometimes because one or both just get bored so they blame the other person rather than realizing that they themselves might be boring since they are not paying attention to life.  Some individuals suffer from terrible loneliness because they do not pay attention or take advantage of life.

Do yourself a huge favor and:

EXPLORE LIFE!


Sunday, October 20, 2013

ARE YOU BREATHING? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 144

When I was a little girl I would hold my breath when I had to take medicine, have a shot or a vaccination. The doctors would tell me to breathe and not hold my breath.  When I lived in cold climates and had to drive on wet or icy roads I would hold my breath until the possible danger had passed.  As I got older and needed to exercise I would hold my breath when I was doing something strenuous or using a machine that I happened to dislike.  The trainer or coach would tell me to stop holding my breath.  Then when I had a number of life-threatening surgeries I found that much of the time I would be holding my breath.  Again, the doctors and nurses would tell me to take deep breaths to ease the pain, to lessen the nausea, etc.  Most recently I have had physical therapy for several different problems, and the therapist told me to stop holding my breath.  I guess old habits die hard, but I am trying to reduce the stress in my life and my body by remembering to breathe.

What about you?  Do you hold your breath?  Do you breathe shallowly instead of deeply?  What makes you hold your breath?  The good advice I am trying to take is to put my shoulders back, sit up or walk straightly, and

BREATHE DEEPLY!


Saturday, October 19, 2013

HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU HEARD OR SAID THIS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 143

When you ask someone to do something how often is the response, "I'll try."  When you invite a friend to join you for a drink or dinner or an event, how often is the response, "I'll try."  When someone asks you to do something or extends an invitation to you, how often is your response, "I'll try."  We seem to be living in a world full of commitment-phobics who cannot make a plan on Monday for the following Saturday, and so they say, "I'll try."  We are surrounded by individuals who are reluctant to commit to doing something or following up on something, and so they say, "I'll try."  Are they waiting for a better invitation, or are they unwilling to do what is asked of them but are afraid to say that and so they say, "I'll try."

If you want to be successful and have strong relationships, then:

DON'T TRY - DO!!!




Friday, October 18, 2013

ARE YOU CAREFUL NOT TO DO THIS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 142

Do you know anyone who cannot get out of his own way?  Do you know anyone who shoots himself in the foot whenever he tries something new?  Do you know anyone who either deliberately or unwittingly sabotages himself?

Sometimes a person subconsciously feels he is unworthy of success or is afraid of success.  In such cases he may take steps to ensure he fails at whatever he is doing.

If you are struggling to succeed be sure you are not doing anything yourself which could cause you to fail.  If you find you are doing things which interfere with your success, analyze your actions or have someone else analyze your behaviors (preferably a trained professional rather than just a relative or friend).

Today's message is:

DON'T SABOTAGE!


Thursday, October 17, 2013

FOR WHAT DO YOU CARE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS -DAY 141

Do you know any children whose parents don't really care about them?  Have you met a teenager who has never known what it is like to be cared for and treated well?  A lot of kids who get into gangs are lured to join by the idea that they will have a family or people who will care about them.  Of course, they are too naive or too frightened to realize that the caring they may receive comes with a high price as more and more is demanded of them.

Do you know any people who have pets but do not provide proper care for them?  Do you know any pet owners who are actually mean to their pets?  The shelters are full of dogs whose owners did not care about them.

Do you know people who are fortunate to have jobs today but who do not care about their jobs?  Do you know people who are interested only in a paycheck and not in doing the best work they are capable of doing?

The poor quality of the labor market, the problems with bullying in schools, the large number of animals who have to be put down, the poor performance of our schools, and the ever increasing crime rates are all indicative of people not caring.  What is part of the solution?

CARE MORE!




HOW FAR DO YOU GO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 140

Sorry this post is late.  Yesterday I had a medical appointment which took much longer than I had expected, and then I had another one this morning so I am running a bit behind.

One of the things I find most annoying is when I have to deal with employees who have either never been properly trained or they just are only interested in a paycheck.  They know nothing about the services or products their company sells, they give out erroneous information, and they have no interest in obtaining the correct information even when asked to do so.  In a difficult economy it would behoove them to do the very best job they can since there are so many people desperate for jobs.  No one is indispensable, and it surprises me that employers do not require more of their employees.  I have heard that some employers feel they cannot afford the cost of taking time to train employees so they just throw them into the proverbial lions' den to sink or swim on their own.  Good employees are wonderful assets, and I am sure companies lose money every day when they do not train their employees and when they do not require outstanding performance from them.

Everyone needs to

GO FURTHER!





Tuesday, October 15, 2013

HOW DO YOU RESIST IT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 139

Most of my life I have known that I have a very short attention span.  When I was growing up no one knew anything about ADHD, and I doubt I would have been diagnosed with it.  I was able to behave myself in school and in Brownies/Girl Scouts, and Choir practice.  I loved being busy, and fortunately in school there were enough subjects to hold my interest and homework was not as voluminous as it seems to be for today's children.  My career was great because I was promoted 11 times in the 20 years I worked for one company.  I found I was very good at cleaning up other people's messes, making their departments run very smoothly, and selecting good people for job openings.  Just as I would get things going very well I would be offered another promotion because I was very results oriented.  I never was bored in my jobs and went on to a new one before boredom could occur.

In my personal life I was interested in many hobbies and started many things that I never finished. I found I would get bored with the project before it was completed.  I did not discipline myself to finish one project before allowing myself to start another one.  I would blame this on not having enough time because of my jobs or because of my children needing more of my time.  Then the children grew up and did not need me anymore so my excuse became lack of time due to more demanding positions.

The first red flag appeared when my older sister was getting married, and I was going to crochet an afghan for the new couple.  I started it and tried numerous times to get back to it.  She is now married for the third time, and her husband is 94 and she is 79.  They have been married 35 years, and she still has never received a finished afghan from me.  I married, had children, moved a number of times, divorced my husband, and still never finished the afghan.  In fact, it somehow got stored in the attic of a brand new house and mice came in out of the cold winter and chewed much of the yarn.  It then went into the garbage.

I am sorry to admit that I have numerous UFO's (unfinished objects) in bags, boxes, closets, and even the garage.  Every week I tell myself that this should be the week that I finish at least one item.  I do manage to take one out of a bag or box, but somehow it ends up still unfinished on one of the beds in my guest room (which is currently covered with many projects).  I do plan to finish them, but my attention span is short so it may take awhile to get them finished.

I would love to hear from any of you as to how you

RESIST BOREDOM



Monday, October 14, 2013

ARE YOU FREE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 138

In my life there have been times when I have felt trapped by people, by situations, and by my own unwillingness to do what it took to free myself.  I loved my mother, but she had a way of ensuring I knew when she was displeased about anything. Standing up to her as a child was unacceptable, and then as an adult I did not want to hurt her so I just let everything go by me.  I was in a very unhappy marriage, and I filed for divorce three times before I could make myself go through with it.  It was the best thing I ever did for all of us, but it took me too many years to do it.  Although I was very fond of almost every boss I had in a long working career, there was one I really disliked.  I had invested so much time and energy in my work but I was really unhappy.  When I finally admitted that to myself I was able to resign and to resist his requests to think it over, take a leave of absence and rest, or let him try to change things to my liking.  I left and it was a good decision as I went on to another position which I thoroughly enjoyed.

In every situation it was my own unwillingness to take the necessary action to free myself that kept me feeling trapped.  In almost any situation we hold the keys to extricating ourselves from whatever is making us feel trapped.  I hope you will be braver than I was and take action sooner than later.  I am not saying that you should not give your actions a lot of thought to be sure it is what you want to do, but once you know what to do just go ahead and do it.  I finally did what it took to

FREE MYSELF!

 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

ARE YOU PUTTING OFF HAPPINESS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 137

Sometimes we put off more things than we should.  We think the time is not right.  We think we cannot afford it.  We worry about what others will think or say.  We think the current status of our life, career, family or business is not yet where or what we want it to be.  We think we have not yet achieved enough success or made enough progress.  Well, truth be told we should not wait to acknowledge and appreciate where we are in the present moment.

We should not wait too long.  There may not be a better time.  We should step out in faith and

CELEBRATE NOW!




Saturday, October 12, 2013

IS SOMETHING HOLDING YOU BACK? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 136

Are you a procrastinator?  Do you put off doing things for yourself more than you put off doing things for others?  I was always a good student who always turned in assignments on time and always did my homework and prepared for tests.  In my working life I was always on time, completed all my work on time and always kept my commitments to my superiors on a timely basis.  In my personal life I was involved a lot in volunteer work, and I always did everything on a timely basis so as not to disappoint anyone in the particular volunteer organization.  I always did what needed to be done for my children on time, and I tried to raise them to not put things off but to do them on time and as agreed to whether it was in school, extra-curricular activities or their careers.

Why then do you suppose I found it so easy to procrastinate on things I needed to do for myself?  Is it because I was not being paid to do them?  Is it because no one was going to think less of me if I did not do them at all or was late in doing them?  Is it because I did not value myself as much as I valued others?

When I decided to start my own Internet business I was at first all fired up and could not find enough hours in the days to do everything on my to-do list.  I jumped right into it with both feet and worked many hours to get my business off the ground.  As time has gone on though I find myself putting off doing those tasks which I do not like to do or do not want to do.  Am I losing interest in my business?  Am I suffering the results of some very serious illnesses I have had in the past three years?  Am I just being lazy?  I update my to-do lists weekly, and I am finding that I am moving some items from week to week to week and never doing them. I would never have done that when I was an employee, and I would have fired any of my employees who did that for very long.

So today I had a talk with myself and said either stop putting those items on the to-do list and admit you are never going to do them OR put a deadline on them and just do them.  I am hopeful that I will do the latter since these things could be important to my business and to my future income.  If you find yourself in any similar situation then let's do what we should do and prepare for

LIFT OFF!




P. S.  If you have found a way to overcome your procrastination, I would love to have you tell me how you did it in the comment section.  Thanks in advance for sharing.

Friday, October 11, 2013

WHERE ARE YOU? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 135

Do you ever have times when you wish you could just be somewhere else?  Anywhere else?  I think we all experience feelings like that at some point in our lives.  There can be any number of reasons why we may wish to be elsewhere.  Most of us don't act on that wish, but there are some who do.

I remember when I was growing up hearing my parents talk about the son of their friends.  He went out to get a newspaper and never came back.  For over 20 years they never knew what had happened to him or if he was still alive.  Then one day out of the blue he came back home.  I always wondered how they really felt when he appeared after so many years.  Were they thrilled to see him and have him back safe and sound? Were they angry for the worry and grief they felt all those years?

For people who are in abusive relationships or marriages, they have every right to leave and should get themselves out of harm's way.  For others who are safe but just bored or tired of responsibility they should find the solution to their problems and live up to their responsibilities.

My opinion is that strong people stay where they need to be, and weak people leave with no thought of the sorrow, anxiety, and never-ending sense of loss they cause people who love them.  When I hear children speak of fathers (or mothers) who abandoned them, it is heart-wrenching because some of these children think they were not loved.  Even sadder are the ones who believed they were loved and cannot understand how a parent could leave them without a word, not provide support for them, and never see them again.  I think that is reprehensible in every sense of the word.

No matter what the day brings, no matter what the problems you may face, tell yourself

I NEED TO BE HERE!


Thursday, October 10, 2013

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SAY IT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 134

When my grandson was a toddler we all thought it was so cute when he would say, "I can't do it, Shuzie."  He was speaking to his Aunt Susie, and she would assure him that he could do whatever it was he felt he could not do.  If he needed help she would give it to him.  More importantly, she would encourage him to try to do things himself.

If you have children or grandchildren, listen to how often they may say, "I can't."  Then listen to all the adults around you and how often they too may say, "I can't."  Many times when adults are saying, "I can't" they really mean "I won't."  How often are we ourselves guilty of doing that?  When we receive an invitation for something we don't really want to do, we say, "I'm sorry but I can't................."  When we have an argument with our spouse or significant other about something which needs to change (and which we do not want to change) we say, "I can't..................."   When we need to exercise or lose weight, how many times do we say, "I can't............" when in reality we really won't do what is necessary to discipline ourselves to do it.  On the other hand, if your boss gives you an assignment deadline I doubt you say, "I can't............."

In truth, there are many things we do not want to do, but there are few things which we can't do.  So if you hear yourself saying, "I can't.........." too often, then it is time to

MAKE CAN'T = CAN



Wednesday, October 9, 2013

DO YOU FEEL ALL ALONE AT TIMES? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 133

Feeling all alone in this world can be a dreadful feeling.  You don't have to feel that way though.  I am a firm believer that love is what makes the difference.  Whether you are a school student who feels alone and unhappy, a college student who feels isolated inside your heart and head, a young professional adult who has only your career to occupy your time, or an elderly person who has outlived friends and family...........it takes only one person (or pet) to make a difference in your life.  Love comes in many forms and from many sources.

You have to put yourself out there in order to let love into your life.  Introduce yourself to a new neighbor, a new co-worker, a new classmate, or call an old friend.  Adopt a pet from the animal shelter.  Dogs and cats give absolutely unconditional love to good owners.

Let yourself love others even if they do not love you in return.  The more love you give out, the more you will receive.  You must start by making up your mind to

LET LOVE IN!



Tuesday, October 8, 2013

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 132

     There are just some days when everything seems to be out of your control.  It happens to all of us at some points in time.  Do you have a solution to days like this?  As I see it, we have two choices on such days:

                          The least desirable choice is to fret, stew, and complain all day.
                          To me the most desirable choice is also the easiest.  Just

ENJOY THE RIDE!




Monday, October 7, 2013

DO YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 131

When we are young we take our lives for granted, and we think we will live forever. If we are unfortunate and lose a parent, sibling or good friend we start to think more about the value of life.  We hear tragic news daily about young gang members being killed in drive-by shootings or another person who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time being killed.  Yesterday a 17-year old high school football player died of a stroke, and the number of people losing their lives due to hit-and-run car accidents is unbelievable.

Why am I starting the week off on a somewhat "down" subject?  I suppose for two reasons.  The first is that last week I lost a very dear, old friend to cancer.  He loved his life, his family, and he fought valiantly to keep living.  The second reason is this morning I had an early-morning appointment at the hospital lab to have some blood work done.  As I looked around at all the people waiting for various tests it was evident that many of them are very ill.  I was reminded to be thankful for not only my life but the lives of the people I love.  I am a cancer survivor, and I am very thankful for every single day I have.

I hope you will make the most of each day and never waste one because

LIFE IS PRECIOUS!


Sunday, October 6, 2013

IS THERE LOVE IN YOUR LIFE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 130

These things are casting a pall over our everyday lives:
  • The political childishness and incompetence in our government, 
  • the racial and financial divisiveness being fueled by politicians,
  • the rage of many citizens resulting in harm to others and even murder,
  • the abdication of responsibility by many parents,
  • their children seeking to belong to a family joining gangs,
  • the horrific gang violence, the youth mobs attacking people,
  • the outrageous lies being told by politicians and the main stream media,
  • the lack of resolution to any of the huge problems we have faced for 5+ years,
  • the ill-informed or uninformed people having no clue about what is really happening,
  • the sweeping under the rug of scandal after scandal,
  • the financial problems and unemployment millions are facing,
  • the dreadful dumbing down of our schools,
  • the poor academic performance of our children,
  • and the fear of what our children and grandchildren will face in their lifetimes.
We receive daily doses of bad news relating to all of these things, and sometimes we must wonder if there is still anything good left in our country or the world.  The answer is there are millions of good people and many wonderful things still happening despite the ugliness of the daily news.

Love abounds if we give it and if we accept it.  So many kinds of love are available to us......parental love; love between siblings, friends, colleagues; puppy love, first love, love of your life, marital love, physical love; spiritual love, love of family, love of country, and love of pets.  

Be sure you are open to love, and it will make life so enjoyable despite all the trouble in the world.  If you give love, you will get love.  It's out there.  Go get it!

LOVE ABOUNDS!







Saturday, October 5, 2013

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR SATURDAYS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 129

Are your weekends filled with to-do lists, household chores, chauffeuring children to various activities, going to your office to catch up, or trying to get a jump on your to-do list for the week ahead?  Do you find yourself thinking always about the future (or the past)?

I used to be that way, and I worked practically 24/7 after my children grew up.  The only thing that did for me was ruin my health in many ways.  So I advise my children to work hard but not 24/7.  Instead of worrying about the future or regretting anything in the past I tell them to live in the now.  Today is the only day we may have so be in it.

BE PRESENT!


Friday, October 4, 2013

HOW LONG WILL YOU TRY? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 128

Are you a great starter?  Are you a great finisher?  I tend to be a great starter but not so much a great finisher.  I am the person with the closet full of UFOs (unfinished objects).  There are so many things I like to do or want to learn to do, but I get easily bored and easily sidetracked.  However, this trait is only as it relates to me.  I always finish anything I promise to others.  In my working life I was always on top of things and always met deadlines.

Why would I do that for others but not for myself? It is because I know that sooner or later I will finish those things that are currently resting in the closet.  Delays are okay as long as you are not harming anyone else by not finishing what you start.

I know that sooner or later

I'LL GET THERE!


Thursday, October 3, 2013

ARE YOU EASILY UPSET? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 127

When I was young having butterflies in my stomach was a common occurrence.  If something happy was going to be happening like a special holiday, a birthday, or a dance I had butterflies.  If I had a major test I had butterflies that day.  When I was grown up if I worked for a cranky boss I had butterflies, if my husband and I had a disagreement I had butterflies, if one of my children became ill I had butterflies, and the night before I had any of my many surgeries I had butterflies.  Of course, the butterflies were just another word for anxiety.

While all of us have anxiety at times, if it happens too often then it is not a healthy situation.  Anxiety can cause or exacerbate stress, and we already live in a world with enough stress for all of us.  I have a friend who became an alcoholic at a young age, but he has now been sober for 30 years.  He said one of the things that helped him get over the anxiety that propelled him into drinking too much was the Serenity Prayer which he learned while attending AA meetings.  If you are not familiar with it, the words are:

                               God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
                               the courage to change the things I can,
                               and the wisdom to know the difference.

Even if you are not a believer, the philosophy of those words can help relieve your anxiety and keep you from becoming easily upset.  If you think about what is causing you to be anxious or upset, ask yourself if there is anything you can do about it.  If there is, then do it.  If there is not, then let it go, and it will either resolve itself or it will not.   Remember to breathe (we all have a tendency to hold our breaths when we are struggling with problems), and take deep breaths which will help lower your level of anxiety.

The best thing you can do is:

STAY CALM