DO YOU SHOW OTHERS WHO YOU ARE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 155

It has become abundantly clear in our society that we humans almost always have dual personalities - the side we show to "company" and the side we reveal to our immediate family and sometimes to our friends.  I have never quite understood why we think what we show to "company" is our best side when we should be revealing our best side to those who love and support us. Is your best side meant to  make others think you are something other than your true self?

I am a firm believer that we should find a way to merge our two personalities into one so that everyone gets to know the real us.  Would that not be a nice twist to always see the real people our political leaders are versus the people they pretend to be when campaigning for office?  Would it not behoove us to show our best side to everyone?  I know it would be a great thing to never disappoint or be disappointed in finding out someone else's true colors?

If your real personality is not something you are proud to show, then you can change it.  Every successful change begins with a decision to make a change.  It can be exhausting to maintain two personas, and it almost always will come back to haunt you when people figure out that what they see is not what they get.

Today, tomorrow and always start each day by telling yourself to

BE THE BEST ME!

ARE YOU STAYING STRONG? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 154

There are days when I feel as if the world is spinning out of control, and that unless I keep hanging on tightly I will be flung out into space.  This feeling comes because it seems so many things which should be easy to deal with or accomplish have become difficult due to bureaucracy, stupidity, incompetence, unemployment, or technology.

What are you trying to do?  Start a business?  Save a relationship? Be a good parent? Pursue your life's dream? Deal with your own illness or that of a loved one?  Are you discouraged for any reason?  Are you thinking you won't realize your objective or have the opportunity to live your dream?  Are you feeling you will never find a job in your field at the salary level you need?  Are you afraid that the outcome will not be that for which you are hoping?

It is so easy to find so many things wrong in the world today, but I encourage you to focus on the positive rather than the negative.  Talk to yourself, and think positively even when you don't  feel like it.  Hang around with positive people rather than naysayers, and determine what you can do about the issue and do it.  Most important

REFUSE TO GIVE UP!

WHERE DO YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 153

Do you spend most of your time in the here and now, or do you find yourself always worrying about the future?  There is all kinds of advice to live in the present, be in the moment, etc.  However, it is not an easy thing to do when you are always thinking about the future.

My blog post for day 153 was to deliver the message

BE FULLY PRESENT

I did not get to write that post yesterday as planned (sorry), but today I received an email with a video message exactly about this subject, and I cannot do it more justice than Marie Forleo did.  So if you want to really find out how to be fully present in today's busy world check out her website and see the brief video which is worth watching:

www.marieforleo.com

WILL YOU BE THE NEXT VICTIM? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 152

There was a time in this country when a murder was a rarity in most cities and towns, and killing seemed to be confined to wars.  When a murder occurred it was on the front page of every newspaper, and before TV it would also be on the radio news.  Today it is no longer a rarity but rather an epidemic. Gang members are killing other gang members.  Children are being abused, assaulted and killed.  College students are being killed, spouses are being killed by spouses, significant others are killed by significant others, neighbors killing neighbors, and now young children are killing parents, teachers, and students.  This is not about owning guns. This is about parenting, education, mental health, accountability, and responsibility.

We have arrived at a time when too many people no longer respect or value life ..........not their own nor the life of anyone else.  If you are a parent have you taught your children to respect life, to value life, to love life? What about you?  Do you respect and value life?  Are you participating in their education?  Do you give them responsibility and hold them accountable?  Do you hold yourself accountable?  If your answer to any of these questions is negative, then it is time you started to do the right things..  If you have grandchildren are they being taught to appreciate life and to know how fragile it is?  If you do not teach them who will?

I am saddened to say this, but we have become a nation of pigs.  Greed and self-absorption abound at all ages and in all occupations and professions.  Lies have become the coin of the realm.  The anger and rage which are rampant, and the total lack of respect for anyone or anything exhibited by far too many people today will become the downfall of all of us.  Think about our children and grandchildren.  What kind of life can they expect to have?  Between the pigs and the ridiculous politicians we are paying to treat us less well than they treat themselves, I fear their lives will be a living hell.

Only we can change things, and the first thing we must believe and share with others is that

LIFE MATTERS! 

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU AWAKE EACH DAY? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS -DAY 150

Do you realize how much control you actually have over your daily moods and attitudes?  I used to not believe that especially when I had a deadline looming, or a medical procedure needed for a family member, friend or myself.  I especially had a hard time grasping that concept when I had loved ones suffering from depression, other illness, financial problems, or job lay-offs.

Then somehow I learned that while I could not prevent those things from happening, I could control my attitude about how I deal with them.  I learned to do everything I can to make situations better and to accept those things I myself can not make better.  I also learned to tell myself immediately upon awakening in the morning that no matter what I am going to

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

DO YOU THINK OF GIVING UP? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 150

Are you having thoughts of giving up whether it be on a relationship, a business idea, a job, or even life?  I know there can be many things which can cause a person to feel great despair, to feel hopeless, and to just run out of the energy to keep trying or keep going.  If you are feeling that way, I first will say I am so sorry that you do.  Then I will say no matter what do not give up.  

Remember that changing your mind is not giving up.  If you decide that someone is really not the person for you, or if you are in an abusive relationship then it is smart to get out of the relationship and distance yourself from that person.  If you have an idea for a business but in doing your research you find that it may not be as profitable as you would need it to be, then deciding not to pursue it is a smart decision.  If you are in a job that makes you miserable each day or has no future growth, then perhaps you do need to keep your ears open to hear about other companies or opportunities.  However, in this economy when so many are out of work it is not smart to just quit your job without another one to go to.  As long as you are employed try to do your best each day, try to be honest and determine if you may be part of the problem and what you can do to make the situation better.  Then keep job searching.  

If you are in a period of grieving for the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship, allow yourself a time to grieve and realize that is part of the process of life.  If you are gay and have not yet come out, or if you have a substance abuse problem, realize what you can do and should do for your own well being.  These are all serious and painful situations, and there are professionals who can help you.  Grief counselors, therapists, rehabs, AA, clergy, parents, grandparents, and friends who can and will help you through these dark times.

One of the things we learn as we grow older is that everything changes if you wait long enough.  Remember that 

IT GETS BETTER!

ARE YOU EXTREMELY HARD ON YOURSELF? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 149

Do you set goals for yourself which are much too aggressive?  Do you challenge yourself harder than anyone else challenges you?  Do you expect too much of yourself?  Or are you too easy on yourself?  Somewhere there is a happy medium so find it for yourself.  Set goals for yourself which are realistic and achievable. Have high standards for yourself,  but don't expect more from yourself than is reasonable?  When you set a challenge for yourself

CHALLENGE EASY.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 148

We all have fears, some of us more than others perhaps but we all have fears.  What are you afraid of?  Heights?  Bugs?  Flying?  Commitment?  Failure?  There are so many possible causes of our fears, but there is usually one solution to overcome any fear.  Make up your mind to conquer your fear, and then put yourself in a situation to do the thing you fear most.  Once you do that, you will sometimes regret the time you wasted letting that particular fear interfere with your life in any way.

Although I don't like bugs or critters that creep or crawl, I think fear of failure is the one that caused me to always play my cards very close to the vest and not take chances.    Fear of failure, fear of disappointing anyone, fear of being reprimanded, fear of losing a job, and fear of financial ruin can wreak havoc in a person's life and prevent  him or her from achieving success in school, in relationships, and in business.

Today's message is:

TAKE RISKS!

WHEN DO YOU RELAX? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 147

Do you ever get totally wrapped up in family or personal matters, business commitments, volunteer duties, and just life in general so you feel as if you are spinning in circles or even out of control.  I know I can allow myself to  get into that predicament.  Try to reel yourself in and think of all that is right in your life, of all that is important but not critical to that day, of what you actually must do yourself or what can be done by someone else.  When you do that you are able to realize that you are not spinning anymore, and you can take a huge deep breath, relax, and tell yourself

ALL IS WELL!

HOW GOOD DO YOU THINK YOU LOOK? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 146

We live in a society that used to be very concerned with looks and appearance.  People used to "dress up" to go to work, school, church, meetings, and events.  Now we seem to have become a nation of slobs which I think has contributed to the demise of so many of the wonderful independent retailers we used to enjoy. Celebrities dress up to walk the red carpet, and people interested in fashion dress for success.  The rest of the people not so much.

It all starts when a person decides to have confidence in his or her looks.  We all look different, but each one of us brings something good to the world even if we do not think so.  It is time to take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  Is your hair combed?  Are your teeth clean?  Is your skin clean and fresh looking? If you wear make up, are you consistent about using it daily?  Do you shave every day?  Do you need a haircut?  Are your clothes clean and pressed?  Do you live in t-shirts, jeans or baggy shorts?  Those items of apparel can have a place in your wardrobe but not for daily use. You don't have to have a huge wardrobe, and you can shop at thrift stores if need be to find appropriate outfits for whatever your activities are.  Once you start paying attention to your appearance you will be amazed at the things that will happen for you.

If you want to make your mark, achieve your dreams, pursue your goals, gain the attention of influential people, be admired, and be an example for others to emulate, then you first must decide that you are who you are, and no matter what happens on each day depending on your gender tell yourself:

I AM BEAUTIFUL!

OR

I AM HANDSOME!

www.malcolmfortots.etsy.com

www.malcolmfortots.goodsmiths.com

DO YOU PAY ATTENTION OR NOT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 145

Are you going through life on auto-pilot?  Are you paying attention to everything around you?  Are you paying attention to all the people who cross your path each day?  Do you really pay attention to your spouse or your children?  Do you know anything that is interesting about your neighborhood, your town or city, your state, your region or your country?  Do you know all of the types of jobs or hobbies that are available to you?

Part of the reason young children and teens get bored and into trouble is because they have no idea what is around them or who is around them.  Marriages fall apart sometimes because one or both just get bored so they blame the other person rather than realizing that they themselves might be boring since they are not paying attention to life.  Some individuals suffer from terrible loneliness because they do not pay attention or take advantage of life.

Do yourself a huge favor and:

EXPLORE LIFE!

ARE YOU BREATHING? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 144

When I was a little girl I would hold my breath when I had to take medicine, have a shot or a vaccination. The doctors would tell me to breathe and not hold my breath.  When I lived in cold climates and had to drive on wet or icy roads I would hold my breath until the possible danger had passed.  As I got older and needed to exercise I would hold my breath when I was doing something strenuous or using a machine that I happened to dislike.  The trainer or coach would tell me to stop holding my breath.  Then when I had a number of life-threatening surgeries I found that much of the time I would be holding my breath.  Again, the doctors and nurses would tell me to take deep breaths to ease the pain, to lessen the nausea, etc.  Most recently I have had physical therapy for several different problems, and the therapist told me to stop holding my breath.  I guess old habits die hard, but I am trying to reduce the stress in my life and my body by remembering to breathe.

What about you?  Do you hold your breath?  Do you breathe shallowly instead of deeply?  What makes you hold your breath?  The good advice I am trying to take is to put my shoulders back, sit up or walk straightly, and

BREATHE DEEPLY!

HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU HEARD OR SAID THIS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 143

When you ask someone to do something how often is the response, "I'll try."  When you invite a friend to join you for a drink or dinner or an event, how often is the response, "I'll try."  When someone asks you to do something or extends an invitation to you, how often is your response, "I'll try."  We seem to be living in a world full of commitment-phobics who cannot make a plan on Monday for the following Saturday, and so they say, "I'll try."  We are surrounded by individuals who are reluctant to commit to doing something or following up on something, and so they say, "I'll try."  Are they waiting for a better invitation, or are they unwilling to do what is asked of them but are afraid to say that and so they say, "I'll try."

If you want to be successful and have strong relationships, then:

DON'T TRY - DO!!!

ARE YOU CAREFUL NOT TO DO THIS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 142

Do you know anyone who cannot get out of his own way?  Do you know anyone who shoots himself in the foot whenever he tries something new?  Do you know anyone who either deliberately or unwittingly sabotages himself?

Sometimes a person subconsciously feels he is unworthy of success or is afraid of success.  In such cases he may take steps to ensure he fails at whatever he is doing.

If you are struggling to succeed be sure you are not doing anything yourself which could cause you to fail.  If you find you are doing things which interfere with your success, analyze your actions or have someone else analyze your behaviors (preferably a trained professional rather than just a relative or friend).

Today's message is:

DON'T SABOTAGE!

FOR WHAT DO YOU CARE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS -DAY 141

Do you know any children whose parents don't really care about them?  Have you met a teenager who has never known what it is like to be cared for and treated well?  A lot of kids who get into gangs are lured to join by the idea that they will have a family or people who will care about them.  Of course, they are too naive or too frightened to realize that the caring they may receive comes with a high price as more and more is demanded of them.

Do you know any people who have pets but do not provide proper care for them?  Do you know any pet owners who are actually mean to their pets?  The shelters are full of dogs whose owners did not care about them.

Do you know people who are fortunate to have jobs today but who do not care about their jobs?  Do you know people who are interested only in a paycheck and not in doing the best work they are capable of doing?

The poor quality of the labor market, the problems with bullying in schools, the large number of animals who have to be put down, the poor performance of our schools, and the ever increasing crime rates are all indicative of people not caring.  What is part of the solution?

CARE MORE!

HOW FAR DO YOU GO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 140

Sorry this post is late.  Yesterday I had a medical appointment which took much longer than I had expected, and then I had another one this morning so I am running a bit behind.

One of the things I find most annoying is when I have to deal with employees who have either never been properly trained or they just are only interested in a paycheck.  They know nothing about the services or products their company sells, they give out erroneous information, and they have no interest in obtaining the correct information even when asked to do so.  In a difficult economy it would behoove them to do the very best job they can since there are so many people desperate for jobs.  No one is indispensable, and it surprises me that employers do not require more of their employees.  I have heard that some employers feel they cannot afford the cost of taking time to train employees so they just throw them into the proverbial lions' den to sink or swim on their own.  Good employees are wonderful assets, and I am sure companies lose money every day when they do not train their employees and when they do not require outstanding performance from them.

Everyone needs to

GO FURTHER!

HOW DO YOU RESIST IT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 139

Most of my life I have known that I have a very short attention span.  When I was growing up no one knew anything about ADHD, and I doubt I would have been diagnosed with it.  I was able to behave myself in school and in Brownies/Girl Scouts, and Choir practice.  I loved being busy, and fortunately in school there were enough subjects to hold my interest and homework was not as voluminous as it seems to be for today's children.  My career was great because I was promoted 11 times in the 20 years I worked for one company.  I found I was very good at cleaning up other people's messes, making their departments run very smoothly, and selecting good people for job openings.  Just as I would get things going very well I would be offered another promotion because I was very results oriented.  I never was bored in my jobs and went on to a new one before boredom could occur.

In my personal life I was interested in many hobbies and started many things that I never finished. I found I would get bored with the project before it was completed.  I did not discipline myself to finish one project before allowing myself to start another one.  I would blame this on not having enough time because of my jobs or because of my children needing more of my time.  Then the children grew up and did not need me anymore so my excuse became lack of time due to more demanding positions.

The first red flag appeared when my older sister was getting married, and I was going to crochet an afghan for the new couple.  I started it and tried numerous times to get back to it.  She is now married for the third time, and her husband is 94 and she is 79.  They have been married 35 years, and she still has never received a finished afghan from me.  I married, had children, moved a number of times, divorced my husband, and still never finished the afghan.  In fact, it somehow got stored in the attic of a brand new house and mice came in out of the cold winter and chewed much of the yarn.  It then went into the garbage.

I am sorry to admit that I have numerous UFO's (unfinished objects) in bags, boxes, closets, and even the garage.  Every week I tell myself that this should be the week that I finish at least one item.  I do manage to take one out of a bag or box, but somehow it ends up still unfinished on one of the beds in my guest room (which is currently covered with many projects).  I do plan to finish them, but my attention span is short so it may take awhile to get them finished.

I would love to hear from any of you as to how you

RESIST BOREDOM

ARE YOU FREE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 138

In my life there have been times when I have felt trapped by people, by situations, and by my own unwillingness to do what it took to free myself.  I loved my mother, but she had a way of ensuring I knew when she was displeased about anything. Standing up to her as a child was unacceptable, and then as an adult I did not want to hurt her so I just let everything go by me.  I was in a very unhappy marriage, and I filed for divorce three times before I could make myself go through with it.  It was the best thing I ever did for all of us, but it took me too many years to do it.  Although I was very fond of almost every boss I had in a long working career, there was one I really disliked.  I had invested so much time and energy in my work but I was really unhappy.  When I finally admitted that to myself I was able to resign and to resist his requests to think it over, take a leave of absence and rest, or let him try to change things to my liking.  I left and it was a good decision as I went on to another position which I thoroughly enjoyed.

In every situation it was my own unwillingness to take the necessary action to free myself that kept me feeling trapped.  In almost any situation we hold the keys to extricating ourselves from whatever is making us feel trapped.  I hope you will be braver than I was and take action sooner than later.  I am not saying that you should not give your actions a lot of thought to be sure it is what you want to do, but once you know what to do just go ahead and do it.  I finally did what it took to

FREE MYSELF!

 

ARE YOU PUTTING OFF HAPPINESS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 137

Sometimes we put off more things than we should.  We think the time is not right.  We think we cannot afford it.  We worry about what others will think or say.  We think the current status of our life, career, family or business is not yet where or what we want it to be.  We think we have not yet achieved enough success or made enough progress.  Well, truth be told we should not wait to acknowledge and appreciate where we are in the present moment.

We should not wait too long.  There may not be a better time.  We should step out in faith and

CELEBRATE NOW!

IS SOMETHING HOLDING YOU BACK? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 136

Are you a procrastinator?  Do you put off doing things for yourself more than you put off doing things for others?  I was always a good student who always turned in assignments on time and always did my homework and prepared for tests.  In my working life I was always on time, completed all my work on time and always kept my commitments to my superiors on a timely basis.  In my personal life I was involved a lot in volunteer work, and I always did everything on a timely basis so as not to disappoint anyone in the particular volunteer organization.  I always did what needed to be done for my children on time, and I tried to raise them to not put things off but to do them on time and as agreed to whether it was in school, extra-curricular activities or their careers.

Why then do you suppose I found it so easy to procrastinate on things I needed to do for myself?  Is it because I was not being paid to do them?  Is it because no one was going to think less of me if I did not do them at all or was late in doing them?  Is it because I did not value myself as much as I valued others?

When I decided to start my own Internet business I was at first all fired up and could not find enough hours in the days to do everything on my to-do list.  I jumped right into it with both feet and worked many hours to get my business off the ground.  As time has gone on though I find myself putting off doing those tasks which I do not like to do or do not want to do.  Am I losing interest in my business?  Am I suffering the results of some very serious illnesses I have had in the past three years?  Am I just being lazy?  I update my to-do lists weekly, and I am finding that I am moving some items from week to week to week and never doing them. I would never have done that when I was an employee, and I would have fired any of my employees who did that for very long.

So today I had a talk with myself and said either stop putting those items on the to-do list and admit you are never going to do them OR put a deadline on them and just do them.  I am hopeful that I will do the latter since these things could be important to my business and to my future income.  If you find yourself in any similar situation then let's do what we should do and prepare for

LIFT OFF!

P. S.  If you have found a way to overcome your procrastination, I would love to have you tell me how you did it in the comment section.  Thanks in advance for sharing.

WHERE ARE YOU? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 135

Do you ever have times when you wish you could just be somewhere else?  Anywhere else?  I think we all experience feelings like that at some point in our lives.  There can be any number of reasons why we may wish to be elsewhere.  Most of us don't act on that wish, but there are some who do.

I remember when I was growing up hearing my parents talk about the son of their friends.  He went out to get a newspaper and never came back.  For over 20 years they never knew what had happened to him or if he was still alive.  Then one day out of the blue he came back home.  I always wondered how they really felt when he appeared after so many years.  Were they thrilled to see him and have him back safe and sound? Were they angry for the worry and grief they felt all those years?

For people who are in abusive relationships or marriages, they have every right to leave and should get themselves out of harm's way.  For others who are safe but just bored or tired of responsibility they should find the solution to their problems and live up to their responsibilities.

My opinion is that strong people stay where they need to be, and weak people leave with no thought of the sorrow, anxiety, and never-ending sense of loss they cause people who love them.  When I hear children speak of fathers (or mothers) who abandoned them, it is heart-wrenching because some of these children think they were not loved.  Even sadder are the ones who believed they were loved and cannot understand how a parent could leave them without a word, not provide support for them, and never see them again.  I think that is reprehensible in every sense of the word.

No matter what the day brings, no matter what the problems you may face, tell yourself

I NEED TO BE HERE!

HOW OFTEN DO YOU SAY IT? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 134

When my grandson was a toddler we all thought it was so cute when he would say, "I can't do it, Shuzie."  He was speaking to his Aunt Susie, and she would assure him that he could do whatever it was he felt he could not do.  If he needed help she would give it to him.  More importantly, she would encourage him to try to do things himself.

If you have children or grandchildren, listen to how often they may say, "I can't."  Then listen to all the adults around you and how often they too may say, "I can't."  Many times when adults are saying, "I can't" they really mean "I won't."  How often are we ourselves guilty of doing that?  When we receive an invitation for something we don't really want to do, we say, "I'm sorry but I can't................."  When we have an argument with our spouse or significant other about something which needs to change (and which we do not want to change) we say, "I can't..................."   When we need to exercise or lose weight, how many times do we say, "I can't............" when in reality we really won't do what is necessary to discipline ourselves to do it.  On the other hand, if your boss gives you an assignment deadline I doubt you say, "I can't............."

In truth, there are many things we do not want to do, but there are few things which we can't do.  So if you hear yourself saying, "I can't.........." too often, then it is time to

MAKE CAN'T = CAN

DO YOU FEEL ALL ALONE AT TIMES? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 133

Feeling all alone in this world can be a dreadful feeling.  You don't have to feel that way though.  I am a firm believer that love is what makes the difference.  Whether you are a school student who feels alone and unhappy, a college student who feels isolated inside your heart and head, a young professional adult who has only your career to occupy your time, or an elderly person who has outlived friends and family...........it takes only one person (or pet) to make a difference in your life.  Love comes in many forms and from many sources.

You have to put yourself out there in order to let love into your life.  Introduce yourself to a new neighbor, a new co-worker, a new classmate, or call an old friend.  Adopt a pet from the animal shelter.  Dogs and cats give absolutely unconditional love to good owners.

Let yourself love others even if they do not love you in return.  The more love you give out, the more you will receive.  You must start by making up your mind to

LET LOVE IN!

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 132

     There are just some days when everything seems to be out of your control.  It happens to all of us at some points in time.  Do you have a solution to days like this?  As I see it, we have two choices on such days:

                          The least desirable choice is to fret, stew, and complain all day.
                          To me the most desirable choice is also the easiest.  Just

ENJOY THE RIDE!

DO YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 131

When we are young we take our lives for granted, and we think we will live forever. If we are unfortunate and lose a parent, sibling or good friend we start to think more about the value of life.  We hear tragic news daily about young gang members being killed in drive-by shootings or another person who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time being killed.  Yesterday a 17-year old high school football player died of a stroke, and the number of people losing their lives due to hit-and-run car accidents is unbelievable.

Why am I starting the week off on a somewhat "down" subject?  I suppose for two reasons.  The first is that last week I lost a very dear, old friend to cancer.  He loved his life, his family, and he fought valiantly to keep living.  The second reason is this morning I had an early-morning appointment at the hospital lab to have some blood work done.  As I looked around at all the people waiting for various tests it was evident that many of them are very ill.  I was reminded to be thankful for not only my life but the lives of the people I love.  I am a cancer survivor, and I am very thankful for every single day I have.

I hope you will make the most of each day and never waste one because

LIFE IS PRECIOUS!

IS THERE LOVE IN YOUR LIFE? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 130

These things are casting a pall over our everyday lives:

• The political childishness and incompetence in our government, 
• the racial and financial divisiveness being fueled by politicians,
• the rage of many citizens resulting in harm to others and even murder,
• the abdication of responsibility by many parents,
• their children seeking to belong to a family joining gangs,
• the horrific gang violence, the youth mobs attacking people,
• the outrageous lies being told by politicians and the main stream media,
• the lack of resolution to any of the huge problems we have faced for 5+ years,
• the ill-informed or uninformed people having no clue about what is really happening,
• the sweeping under the rug of scandal after scandal,
• the financial problems and unemployment millions are facing,
• the dreadful dumbing down of our schools,
• the poor academic performance of our children,
• and the fear of what our children and grandchildren will face in their lifetimes.

We receive daily doses of bad news relating to all of these things, and sometimes we must wonder if there is still anything good left in our country or the world.  The answer is there are millions of good people and many wonderful things still happening despite the ugliness of the daily news.

Love abounds if we give it and if we accept it.  So many kinds of love are available to us......parental love; love between siblings, friends, colleagues; puppy love, first love, love of your life, marital love, physical love; spiritual love, love of family, love of country, and love of pets.  

Be sure you are open to love, and it will make life so enjoyable despite all the trouble in the world.  If you give love, you will get love.  It's out there.  Go get it!

LOVE ABOUNDS!

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR SATURDAYS? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 129

Are your weekends filled with to-do lists, household chores, chauffeuring children to various activities, going to your office to catch up, or trying to get a jump on your to-do list for the week ahead?  Do you find yourself thinking always about the future (or the past)?

I used to be that way, and I worked practically 24/7 after my children grew up.  The only thing that did for me was ruin my health in many ways.  So I advise my children to work hard but not 24/7.  Instead of worrying about the future or regretting anything in the past I tell them to live in the now.  Today is the only day we may have so be in it.

BE PRESENT!

HOW LONG WILL YOU TRY? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 128

Are you a great starter?  Are you a great finisher?  I tend to be a great starter but not so much a great finisher.  I am the person with the closet full of UFOs (unfinished objects).  There are so many things I like to do or want to learn to do, but I get easily bored and easily sidetracked.  However, this trait is only as it relates to me.  I always finish anything I promise to others.  In my working life I was always on top of things and always met deadlines.

Why would I do that for others but not for myself? It is because I know that sooner or later I will finish those things that are currently resting in the closet.  Delays are okay as long as you are not harming anyone else by not finishing what you start.

I know that sooner or later

I'LL GET THERE!

ARE YOU EASILY UPSET? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 127

When I was young having butterflies in my stomach was a common occurrence.  If something happy was going to be happening like a special holiday, a birthday, or a dance I had butterflies.  If I had a major test I had butterflies that day.  When I was grown up if I worked for a cranky boss I had butterflies, if my husband and I had a disagreement I had butterflies, if one of my children became ill I had butterflies, and the night before I had any of my many surgeries I had butterflies.  Of course, the butterflies were just another word for anxiety.

While all of us have anxiety at times, if it happens too often then it is not a healthy situation.  Anxiety can cause or exacerbate stress, and we already live in a world with enough stress for all of us.  I have a friend who became an alcoholic at a young age, but he has now been sober for 30 years.  He said one of the things that helped him get over the anxiety that propelled him into drinking too much was the Serenity Prayer which he learned while attending AA meetings.  If you are not familiar with it, the words are:

                               God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
                               the courage to change the things I can,
                               and the wisdom to know the difference.

Even if you are not a believer, the philosophy of those words can help relieve your anxiety and keep you from becoming easily upset.  If you think about what is causing you to be anxious or upset, ask yourself if there is anything you can do about it.  If there is, then do it.  If there is not, then let it go, and it will either resolve itself or it will not.   Remember to breathe (we all have a tendency to hold our breaths when we are struggling with problems), and take deep breaths which will help lower your level of anxiety.

The best thing you can do is:

STAY CALM

DO YOU SOMETIMES FEEL WEAK? CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 126

There are times when almost all people feel bereft of courage when trying to face a difficult time in life. Whether it be serious illness, relationships, loss of a loved one, angry boss, financial problems, or just fear of the unknown at times we can feel very weak which is a dreadful feeling.  The best advice I ever got was that I should take life one day at a time because that is how it is going to come.  Just try to get through each day the best you can.  There is a Scripture verse that says, "Don't worry about tomorrow for today has enough trouble of its own."  That does not mean each day is going to be a bad one for you but rather that we should focus on the present day.

Having courage does not mean having no fear but rather doing what you must in spite of feeling weak or fearful.  You can do it.  I know you can.

HAVE COURAGE!

DON'T WASTE EVEN ONE DAY - CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WORDS - DAY 125

Last night as I was watching Dancing With The Stars I was sorry to learn that one of the contestants Bill Nye had suffered a severe injury.  I was surprised when he decided to dance anyway despite what the doctor told him.  When asked why he opted to do it he said something like , "People don't regret what they do but what they don't do."

While we all have or will have regrets for some of the things we say or do in our lives, I think he was correct.  At the end of the day we will regret things left undone, opportunities not taken, words not spoken, kindness not extended, rifts not mended, and never doing the things that we always have wanted to do.  Time is fleeting and life is short.

Today's message is:

BE HAPPY NOW!